


Midnight Blues

by tinyko



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Falling In Love, Father Figures, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, M/M, Magic, Magic Revealed, Magical Accidents, Micah dies AU, Not super Graphic, Original Character(s), Pining, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyko/pseuds/tinyko
Summary: A young man out of time falls in love with an Irish cowboy.





	1. An Unknown Accident and a New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having fun!! idc if my self insert is a mary sue! i'm having fun and fixing canon. anyway sorry its a bit short, this is just kinda like a hook thing for now, just trying to get a feel for the setting and some characters

Snow covers the land and fills the air, swirling around until one can’t see five feet in front of them. Tree shake from the force of the freezing wind which deafens the landscape. A young huddles under one of the trees, the cold biting violently at his bare arms. He shivers harshly, his fingers numb and his lips blue. His little bag of belongings conveniently didn’t have a sweater.

He closes his eyes and rests his head against the rough, cold bark of the tree he hides under. After all this, after it worked, of course he finds himself somewhere he’ll die within an hour of arriving in, cold and alone. 

Letting out a shivering breath, he opens his eyes once more, wishing he had paid more attention to his mum during her lessons. He would kill for any warmth right now.

In the distance, through the blizzard, he sees a yellow light, followed shortly by voices. His heart leaps into his throat as he scrambles to stand up, his limbs feeling like they’re frozen solid. He stumbles through the knee deep snow, the cold seeping into his sneakers and up his worn and ripped jeans. 

“Hello?” He shouts out, his voice hurting his throat, “Hello? Is someone there?”

The voices draw closer and he can make out at least two, maybe three different voices.

“Please, help me! I’m lost and it’s so cold,” his voice cracks and waivers as he wades through the snow towards the lights.

“Dutch. There’s someone there.” 

“Yes, I hear them. Who are you?”

The young man can make out the silhouettes of three riders and their horses, “My name’s Leonardo. I… I don’t know where I am. I’m… I’m scared.”

One of the riders comes into view - a man in a thick blue coat and a worn cowboy hat on a black and white paint, “He’s a just kid, Dutch. What’re we- What in the hell are you wearing, son? Ya gonna freeze to death like that.”

“I…” Leo scrambles for an explanation, “I don’t know. I don’t know how I got out here. I… can’t remember.”

“Can’t remember? Dutch, what should we do?”

The second rider comes up next to the first - an older man in a big, black coat with someone wrapped in a blanket behind him. He silent for a moment, looking over Leo, “We take him with us. Get on Arthur’s horse, son. You’re safe now.”

“Dutch! We already got too many mouths to feed. Right here’s two more we don’t need.” It’s the third rider, still slightly out of view. His voice sends an unpleasant chill down Leo’s spine.

The second rider, Dutch, and the unnamed third rider bicker, the conversation drowning out as the first rider, Arthur, holds his arm down, “Get on then.”

Leo grabs at his arm, revelling at the warm and the fact he can still feel with his fingers. With the help of Arthur, he manages to scramble onto the horse and wrap his arms around the larger man’s waist, desperate for any warmth. A weight settles onto his shoulder and he jerks his head up. A blanket drapes across his body and his fingers quickly grab onto it, pulling the fabric as tight to his body as he can get it.

“Can’t have ya freezing to death on us just yet, boy,” the second rider, Dutch, says, closing his saddle bag and riding ahead to the front.

Leo rests his head against Arthur’s back, one hand digging into the back of his jacket and he other clinging to the blanket around him. He closes his eyes, taking this moment to ground himself.

_‘Playing amnesia shouldn’t be too hard.’_


	2. More Questions than Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo is cold, Hosea is fatherly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to be mysterious w my self insert's backstory/reason for being here idk if i'm doing a good job

The camp is small, maybe five buildings, though it’s hard to tell in the dark and the snow. Leo shivers and clenches his fists in the heavy, woolen fabric of the blanket draped over him.

“Hey, somebody’s comin’,” someone shouts, followed by the sound of a gun cocking. Leo tenses, startled.

“Looks like it’s Dutch. Hey, everybody! Dutch is back!” The same man shouts and waves as the three riders pass.

“How’d you get on?” An older man asks as a group of people pour out from the buildings.

Dutch rides his horse nearly right up to the front of a build and climbs down in one smooth motion, “Micah found a homestead, but he weren’t the first. Colm O’Driscoll and his scum beat us to it.”

He helps the person down who rode behind him, a young woman wrapped in a blanket similar to the one around Leo, “We found some of them there, but there is more about apparently, scoutin’ a train.”

“That’s the last thing we need right now, Dutch,” the older man hisses.

“Well is is what it is. But we found some supplies, some blankets, a little bit of food and these poor souls, Mrs Adler and Leonardo.”

Arthur slides off his horse and helps the young man down as well, the snow cold on his ankles once he touches ground once more. He shivers and wraps the blanket tighter around him. The snow he’s used to usually isn’t more than five inches and never accumulated where he would need to walk thanks to good ol’ salted roads.

“Miss Tilly, Miss Karen, would you warm her up? Give her a drink of something, and Mrs Adler, it’s gonna be okay. You’re safe now,” Dutch calls as the other women wrap their arms around the shivering woman and guide her into the building.

“They turned her into a widow,” Dutch remarks to the older man next to him, “Animals.”

He turns away from the older man, “I need some rest. I haven’t slept in three days.”

“You’re over here,” an older woman sweeps with her hand, “Miss O’Shea will show you the way. Mr Morgan, we put you in a room over here.”

“Thank you, Miss Grimshaw,” Arthur nods his head, following the older woman. Leo scrambles after, not sure where to go.

“Mr Bell,” Miss Grimshaw turns toward the third rider, “You’re with the fellers over there.”

The third rider sputters, “How come Arthur gets a room and I get a bunk bed next to Bill Williamson and a bunch of darkies?”

Leo’s stomach churns as he whips his head around, shocked by the comment. He feels his hands tremble and he bites his lip.

“Get yourself to bed,” the older man Dutch talked to earlier says, dismissing the man, “Now, Leonardo was it?”

Leo pauses and nods, “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Come with me, we’ll get you set up over here. I’m sure we can find somewhere for you to sleep. My name is Hosea Matthews,” the two walk through the snow to another building nearby.

“Thank you very much, just, please don’t put me near that man. The that just made that awful comment,” Leo’s voice quivers and he’s unsure if it’s from the cold or the unsettling feeling this ‘Bell’ fellow gave off.

Hosea chuckles, a sound that almost instantly comforts the smaller man, “Micah? Don’t worry, I’m sure that can be arranged.”

They enter a building with a couple other older men in it, all bundled up and huddled near a fireplace.

“Mr Pearson, Herr Strauss, Reverend, Leonardo will be staying here with us for a while,” Hosea says to the men, “Leonardo, this is Mr Pearson, our cook, Herr Strauss and Reverend Swanson. They’re all part of our little group here.”

Leo nods to them, forcing back a violent shiver, “It’s nice to meet you all, and please, just ‘Leo’ is fine. ‘Leonardo’ can be a mouthful.”

The men all nod to him and greet him, Leo instantly feeling at ease around all four of them. 

He shivers once more, gripping the blanket tighter and forces his voice out of his throat, “If it’s not too much, would one of you happen to have some spare clothes? I… I don’t know how I got out here in this storm, but I don’t have any other clothes at all, no coat, no warm pants, no scarf, nothing.”

Instantly, he feels guilty and he panics, “I don’t mean to, to bother or anything, I just, I don’t… I…”

A hand on his shoulder makes him jump and he swings his head up with wide eyes. Hosea gives him a gentle look, something akin to what he believes a father would look like, “Don’t worry, son, we have some spare clothing, but, what _were_ you doing out there if you’re not dressed for it?”

Leo shuffles, letting himself be guided towards the fireplace to a spot between the two tall, lean men, “I… I don’t know… I don’t remember… I…”

“Do you remember anything at all?” The man with the glasses, Herr Strauss, asks, his voice accented. Something European, Leo notes.

“I mean, I remember my name, obviously, and that I’m nineteen. I go to school in Philadelphia, my mum lives there, well just outside Philly,” Leo pulls tighter at the blanket, trying to play the helpless amnesiac as best as he could. He wishes silently that he hadn’t been so damn anxious in high school and was able to complete his theatre class. He always was a good actor, and he hopes that all those role plays pay off.

“Philadelphia? That’s a damn ways away,” Mr Pearson remarks.

“Is it? I don’t even know where I am,” Leo bites his lip, and genuinely feeling worried.

“Here,” Hosea reaches out from next to Leo, a pile of folded clothes in his hands, “We’re up in the Grizzlies, son. You’re a long ways from home.”

He fumbles with the stack of clothes, “Thank you… I…”

Before he can say anything else, Hosea puts his hand on his shoulder again, a gentle, fatherly (or at least what he assumes would be fatherly) touch that makes Leo ache for everything he missed out on in his childhood, “Get changed and get some sleep, boy. We’ll worry about it in the morning.”

Leo nods and scurries off to a side room, away from the others and scrambles to get dressed. The pants are much longer than his legs and each piece of clothing as definitely seen better days, but it’s _layers_ and they’re _warm_. Much warmer than his worn tee and ripped jeans. 

Wrapping the blanket around him again, he burrows himself into one of the beds and opens the small bag of his belongings. He pulls out a sketchbook, one he found in an old antique store downtown and his mint tin of charcoal and graphite sticks. His grimoire is next, the heavy, worn book held closed by a long string wrapped around several times and an intricate design etched into the hard cover. He runs his fingers over the pattern, the lines helping soothe his racing heart. 

He turns back to the bag and reaches in again, feeling something smooth and familiar that rattle with the movement. He pulls out his pill bottles, his eyebrows furrowing, but not complaining and quickly pops in his nightly medication. The next thing he pulls out is a leather bag he doesn’t remember ever owning. Untying it, he looks inside and nearly cries in relief. A collection of needles, syringes and a small bottle lay on top - his testosterone.

He shoves everything back into the bag and tucks it next to the headboard of the bottom bunk that he curled up on. He wiggles down and burrows deeper into the blanket, closing his eyes and listening to the soft voices of the other men and the fire in the next room over.


	3. Horseshoe Overlook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a wagon ride and a tiny bit of Leo's story revealed.

Nine days.

Nine days have passed since Leo found himself in thigh deep snow in the mountains in just his ratty, ripped, paint covered jeans and an old tee shirt and was picked up by a group of people who most _definitely_ are criminals. But they've all (just about all) have been incredibly nice to him that he doesn't question their lifestyles. They haven't bothered too much into his back story (his amnesia act still seems to be working) and he won't pester about theirs if they don't pester about his. 

He pushed the door to the main building open, rubbing his hands together and greeting the girls huddled near the fire. Jack jumps up when he sees the young man and makes his way over to Leo, a skip in his step. Leo smiles, holding his hands out to the boy.

"Good morning, Jack! What's up?" Leo crouches down, "You sure seem peppy this morning."

Jack giggles, "Uncle Arthur and the others went out this morning to go rob a train! We get to leave then!"

A hush falls over the girls, Abigail standing up so quickly the chair she was sitting on wobbles and clatters loudly. She rushes over and slaps a hand over Jack's mouth.

"Oh, silly boy, don't listen to him and his imagination."

Leo smiles softly, standing upright, "Don't worry, I kinda figured something less than legal was going on here with all of you. But you don't pester about me, so I don't pester about you."

"We ain't exactly subtle, Abigail," John states, waving a hand lazily.

Leo makes his way toward the back where Jihn lays, "How're you holding up? The gashes look better."

John swats at Leo, "I'm fine. You ain't got no need to flatter me, either. I know it's ugly."

Leo laughs a little, and goes to to say something when a loud commotion comes from outside. He follows the others out, cautiously. 

“It is time. We are movin’ on everyone. Start packin’ up,” Dutch shouts, riding his horse between the building, “Once Arthur gets back, we’re headin’ off.”

Leo gets drug away by Miss Grimshaw, getting instructed to help with the other men doing the heavy lifting. He easily gets lost in the repetitive moving, much too used to the motions of loading box after box onto something, thought usually not a hide covered wagon.

“Leo!” Hearing his name jarrs him out of his robotic motions, jerking his head up towards Dutch.

“Yes?”

“Go with Arthur and Hosea.”

Leo nods and scrambles off the wagon he’s on, heading towards the one at the back. He clambers over some boxes and settles on one with his back towards the driver’s bench, looking out over the scenery ad settling his bag next to him. They start moving with a lurch, and Leo leans back against the backrest. He watches the landscapes change and resists the urge to open his grimoire. It’s much too risky and he doesn’t want Hosea looking over and seeing that big, leather bound book. He sighs and instead just tries to keep himself busy trying to mentally name every plant he can see.

The snow slowly grows shallower and more green pops into view and before long, it’s as if they were never in snow at all. He takes in the beauty, a weird feeling settling in his stomach knowing that it won’t always be this green and lush. That soon it’ll be all steel and concrete.

The wagon tilts suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Ah, shit,” Arthur cusses as he jumps down from the seat.

“Okay, let’s take a look,” Hosea sighs as he climbs down as well.

Leo swings his legs over the edge of the wagon and drops down, spotting a metal container of sorts starting to drift down stream. He scurries after it, wading into the stream and catching it just in time before it goes over the edge into some stronger currents. 

“You alright back there?” Someone calls from the wagon in front of them.

“Does everythin’ look alright?” Arthur spits.

“Well, what’s goin’ on?” Leo recognises that one as Javier.

“I broke the goddamn wheel,” Arthur responds, hauling the wheel upright.

“Alright, let’s get it fixed,” Hosea says as he heads for the back of the wagon.

“You need help?” Javier asks.

“I reckon we can handle it,” Hosea says, getting ready to lift the wagon, “Arlight, Charles, Leo, you and me hold the thing up while you try to put the wheel on, Arthur.”

Leo hurries over and takes position next to Charles, making sure he has a decent grip on the wood. He doesn’t get long before the others are lifting it up.

“You still strong enough to hold up a wagon?” Arthur jokes, rolling the wheel over.

“Shut up,” Hosea retorts quickly.

“I’m just sayin’.”

“Well, say less. Nearly there.”

Arthur bangs the wheel into place and Hosea lets go. Leo goes over to start to help put back the few items that had fallen

“See, you ain’t so useless after all,” Arthur nudges Hosea.

“Not quite,” Hosea says back.

With all the boxes and crates back on, Leo makes his way back to his spot, pausing when he sees the other three men looking up at the cliff side. He follows their gaze to see three people on horseback, just watching them.

“What you think?” Arthur asks.

“If they wanted trouble,” Charles replies, “We wouldn’t have seen them.”

Hosea raises his hand in greeting, “Poor bastards. We really scream them over down here.”

He turns back towards the wagon, making to the driver’s bench, “C’mon, let’s not push our luck.”

“What happened?” Arthur asks, heading back to his seat. 

Charles sits himself on that back of the wagon.

“Well,” Hosea starts, “Get n and I’ll tell ya.”

Arthur cracks the reins, getting the horses to start.

“Not too far now, stay on this trail. We’ll follow the river then cut left inland,” Hosea directs.

“So, yes, the Indians in these parts got sold a very raw deal. This is the Heartlands we’re goin’ to, good farmin’ and grazin’ country. They lost it all. Stolen clean away from them it was… every blade of grass. Killed or herded up to the reservations in the middle of nowhere,” Hosea explains.

Leo frowns, “That’s just what white man did everywhere, though.”

Charles nods, “How’s that different from anywhere else?”

“Well, maybe it’s not. I just heard some of the army out here was particularly, uh… unpleasant about it.”

Leo scoffs.

“Unpleasant? How do you rob and kill people pleasantly? We don’t, in spite of Dutch’s talk,” Charles speaks the words Leo thinks.

“I fear I was perhaps tryin’ to simplify somethin’ more complicated for the benefit of our blockheaded driver here.”

“Hey, don’t blame it on me,” Arthur says, “Never forget, this here’s a conman, Charles, Leo, born and bred. Just ‘cause it sounds fancy, don’t mean he knows a damn thing ‘bout what he’s talkin’ about.”

“I don’t know,” Leo remarks, “He pretty much summed up what happened to every native tribe across the US in like less than a hundred words.”

“Oh yeah? And how’d you know?” Arthur challenges.

Leo thumbs the strap of his bag, “My mum’s native. I try to keep up to date with stuff like this.”

Arthur hums, “Damn, you and Charles should get along great. So, Charles, what happened to your tribe?”

Leo tilts his head, turning his attention to the large, quiet man across from him.

“I don’t even know if I have one, least not that I can remember. My father was a coloured man. They told me he lived with our people for a while, a number of free men did, but when we were forced to move from our lands, the three of us fled. I was too young to remember much. All life I’ve been on the run. A couple years later, some soldiers captured my mother… took her somewhere. We never saw her again. We drifted around. He was a very sad man and the drink had a mean hold on him. Around thirteen, I just took off on my own,” Charles explains.

“That was about the age we found young Arthur here… Maybe a little older,” Hosea says, “A wilder delinquent you never did see. But he learned fast.”

“Not as fast as Marston, apparently,” Arthur grumbles.

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Charles says, furrowing his brows, “What’s the problem between yu to?”

“Arthur?” 

“It’s a long story,” Arthur sighs, then quickly changes the topic, “We still headin’ the right way?”

“That depends,” Hosea replies, “Are we still headin’ west in search of fortune and repose in virgin forest as planned? No. Are we headin’ in the correct direction on our desperate escape from the law eastwards the mountains? Yes, I believe so.”

Leo bites his knuckle to keep from laughing.

Charles speaks up, “You know this area?”

“A little,” Hosea replies, “I’ve been through a couple of times. There’s a livestock town not too far from here called Valentine. Cowboys, outlaws, workin’ girls. Our kind of place.

“O’Driscolls?” Arthur asks.

“Probably them too.”

“Pinkertons?”

“Let’s hope not.”

“And this place we’re goin’...” Arthur pauses, “Wait, what’s it called again?”

“Horseshoe Overlook.”

“It’s a good place to lie low?”

“It’ll do for now,” Hosea says, his voice suddenly growing tired, “And how low do you think Dutch is really goin’ to lie. It’s just… y’know, maybe it’s me who’s changed, not him, but we kept tellin’ him that ferry job didn’t feel right. You and me had a real lead in Blackwater that coulda worked out.”

“Maybe.”

“It just isn’t like Dutch to lose his head like that.”

“Things go wrong sometimes,” Arthur says, “People die. It’s the way it always has been. Me, you, Dutch, we’ve all been in this line of work for a long time and we’re still here so I figure we musta got it right a hall of a lot more than we got it wrong.”

Arthur pauses, “What’re you workin’ on there, anyway?”

Leo cranes his neck, seeing Hosea mixing some sort of herbs together in a small dish.

“Just some yarrow and ginseng, good for the health. Better than that stuff you buy in store,” Hosea moves the dish, “Here you can have all of this. I’m at the point I can do it with my eyes closed.”

“Okay, thank you,” Arthur says as he takes the herb mixture.

The wagon jerks as Arthur pull off the main path.

“There you are, brother,” Javier speaks from the edge of the trees, “Head in there and follow the track for a bit.”

“Thanks,” Arthur nods to the other man.

“Hey, slow up, I’ll jump on.”

Leo smiles and nods at the man as he steps onto the back of the wagon. Javier salutes in return, “Okay, let’s go.”

“Any trouble gettin’ in here, Javier?” Hosea asks.

“No, it went well. This is a good spot.”

“Excellent. I think this’ll work for us, Arthur. For now anyway. Here we are gentlemen. Home, sweet home.”

Leo turns and swings his legs over the edge of the wagon once more and heads around, swinging his bag over his head and reaching his hands up for Charles to pass him down a box. He carries it over to Miss Grimshaw to get directions on where to put it. He sets it down and takes in the view for a moment, in utter awe of the natural beauty that he grew up without.

“Now, everyone, put your tools down for a moment,” Dutch calls out, “Come on, gather round, quickly now.” 

Leo heads over with everyone else.

“I know things have been tough, but we are safe now and we are far too poor. So it’s time to get to work,” Dutch speaks loudly. Leo notes that he can really command a crowd.

“Get to work, but stay out of trouble,” Hosea speaks up, “Remember, we are itinerant workers.”

“Laid off when they shut down our factory to the north,” Dutch continues, “Now get out there and see what you can find. Uncle, Reverend Swanson, no more passengers. It is time for everyone to earn their keep.”

“This is a town a little ways down the track name of Valentine, live stock town. All mud and morons if I remember right. That seems a decent place to start,” Hosea explains.

“And, uh, we need food, real food. That means everyday, one of you,” Mr Pearson says.

Dutch pulls out a small box, “And remember,” he drops it on a barrel loudly, “Whatever it is that you find, the camp gets its slice. Now be sensible out there.”

Leo head back to help unload some wagons, getting lost in the mindless work of passing boxes and crates to the next person and settling them where he’s told until a shriek jolts him out. He nearly drops the box in his arms, stumbling to set it down and head over to the girls. Mary-Beth stands off to the side with Tilly behind her.

“What’s going on?” Leo asks, concerned.

“Tilly saw a snake,” Mary-Beth says, “Somewhere over near where we’re puttin’ our stuff.”

“It was big too,” Tilly says, her voice shaken.

Leo smiles, “Don’t worry, I got it. I’m good with animals.”

He heads over, looking around for the reptile, reciting the descriptions of venomous versus non-venomous snakes in his head. _‘Spade head, angry eyebrows - bad. Round head, puppy eyes - safe. Spade head, angry eyebrows - bad. Round head, puppy eyes - safe.’_

Coming up near the spot, Leo spots some movement in the grass. Carefully and calmly, he makes his way towards the movement. He spreads his hands out and breathes deeply, rooting himself.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” He speaks softly, barely louder than a whisper, “It’s safe, we just need you to move.”

Through the taller grass, a black, cream and orange snake slithers about. Leo can't help but laugh. He approaches slowly, holding his hand out, palm up.

"Hey, honey. I'm just going to pick you up and move you away from camp," Leo speaks softly, reaching for the small snake.

It pauses, curling to look up at the young man as he gently grasps the snake, lifting it from the ground. It sticks its tongue out at him and settles into his hand. Leo smiles and rubs his thumb over its scales. He turns to find Mary-Beth and Tilly, to make sure this is the 'big, dangerous' snake they'd seen.

"Hey, Tilly, Mary-Beth," Leo calls to the girls, "Is this the snake?"

He just about thinks Mary-Beth is about to faint when she turns around to see the small man holding the snake in his hand. Tilly nearly trips over her skirts trying to get up and away. The commotion brings out several others, making sure everything's okay.

"Good Lord, child. Put that thing down before it kills you!" Miss Grimshaw says sternly.

Leo laughs a little, "It's okay, he's perfectly harmless. He's just a little milk snake, completely nonvenomous and docile. He's sweet. I take it, though, that he's the big, scary snake you saw, right? I'm going to go put him over in the bushes on the other side of camp."

Keeping the snake close to his body, Leo makes his way through camp, catching the attention of most everyone he passes with his little passenger. He kneels in the grass, away from the horses and from camp and lowers the snake to the ground. It quickly slithers off and its tail disappears into the grass. He sighs and stands again, making his way back to the camp. Like Dutch said, he needs to find a way to make himself useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats really two of the three ways u can tell if a snake is venomous! most venomous snakes have a spade shaped head and a ridge along the side f thier head that literally looks like angry eye brows while non-venomous tend to have round heads, theres also something about the division of scales along the belly but i dont remember that one, but uh dont try that at home bc not all snake adhere to that and also, theyre wild animals, my self insert just has a canny ability to handle animals well  
> pale milk snakes are common in the dakotas (which i think the heartlands are based off of?) so thats what the little guy is  
> also, it used to be different, but i didnt like how the end was w the black snake so thats gone


	4. Return Parties and Sober Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean returns to the gang.

The weeks go by slowly, the days seem to stretch longer and the nights feel like eternities. Leo finds himself sitting a little off from the camp, gazing in wonder at the night sky, counting the constellations and the shooting stars. His heart aches each night, missing his home that the longer he stays, the more he fears he cannot return to. He doesn’t sleep often, his medications seemingly to not help and when he does, his sleep is often plagued with violent nightmares.

He’s been more or less confined to the camp - he’s completely unable to ride a horse. He hasn’t even tried, too nervous to let the others see him fumble. Hosea once almost caught him trying to mount one of the horses they use to pull wagons. It wasn’t a bright idea since the horse’s back was about even with his eye level, but he wanted to do _something_ for the gang.

He tries to keep busy - helping with the cooking (which Mr Pearson always seems ever grateful for), doing laundry and mending clothes, tending to the horses (though they still lowkey terrify him), caring for the chickens, teaching Jack (even if he’s not a great teacher), anything he can try to be helpful with. 

The days weigh heavy, nonetheless, and the nights even heavier.

Once more, he finds himself sitting off to himself in camp, mending a pair of John’s pants _once again_ since the man seems to never be able to go a week without adding a new tear somewhere in them. He hums to himself as he works, soft songs that he’s had memorised for a long while.

A loud, shouting, accented voice jerks him from his work, making him jab the needle into his finger.

“Motherfucker,” He cusses, bringing his finger to his mouth, immediately tasting the copper of blood.

“Look who we found hung up by his ankles,” Javier’s voice calls out as he rides up.

Leo shoves the needle into the fabric and bunches it up to toss on his cot, obviously not going to be able to finish it for a while. He waves to Javier as he dismounts, a stranger following him off Boaz. Leo falters, gazing at the new man. He’s taller than Javier, with a mop of ginger hair, a goofy grin and a face full of freckles and stubble. Leo can feel his cheeks warm and bites the inside of his mouth to keep his cool.

Javier strides to him and swings an arm around Leo’s shoulders, “This is one of the new recruits I was tellin’ you about, Leonardo. He’s got this way with animals, yet he can’t ride a horse.”

Leo knows his cheeks must be crimson at this point and he smacks Javier playfully, sliding out from under his arm, “They’re scary, okay? I’m tiny, every horse is huge! And they’re omnivores, I’m not fucking with that.”

He turns to the stranger and holds his hand out, tucking some hair behind his ear and praying he doesn’t look like some lovestruck schoolgirl, “I’m Leo, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Sean MacGuire,” The man takes his hand and gives it a strong shake, “The pleasure’s all mine.”

Leo scratches his cheek and laughs a little, “I’m going to go, uh, see you around, Sean!”

He ducks away, behind a tent and rubs his face, groaning into his hands. He can hear the commotion of the camp - cheers and hollers and excitement over their lost friend’s return. Leo smiles behind his hands, happy for them all. He takes a breath and skirts around the edge of the camp, picking up the pants he was mending and curls up near the horses.

As long as he’s spent with the gang - about an entire month at this point - something about this whole situation makes him feel like he’s intruding.

Finding a soft patch of grass where he can still see the camp, he settles down and sews, occasionally glancing up to catch a view of Sean. He can’t believe that within a minute of knowing the man, he’s already getting a crush. He’s already had a quick, passing crush on just about every man at camp who’s shown him basic human decency (when John let him pet Old Boy’s nose, when Lenny helped him get something he couldn’t reach, when Javier said he should sing more, when Charles helped him get some knots out of his hair, when he rode with Arthur to Valentine to get clothes, when Kieran taught him how to feed a horse from his hand), so he hopes it passes quickly and he can get on with trying to find a way home.

He jabs his finger again and he jumps at the sting, jerking his finger to his mouth again. He sets the pants in his lap and leans back. He hadn’t realised how long he had been sitting and sewing, the stars dotting the sky and the only light being from the nearby campfire. He rubs his eyes and finishes the stitch, the pants mended as well as they’ll be getting. He bites the thread, too lazy to find his scissors and folds the pants, noting to himself to return them to John first thing in the morning.

Standing, he nearly falls on his face, his legs completely numb from him zoning out for so long. In fact, he knows he would be on the ground if there weren’t arms around his waist.

“I’ve been here for half a day and yer already fallin’ for me? Can’t resist the ol’ MacGuire charm, eh?”

Leo wishes he _had_ face planted.

He clears his throat awkwardly and balances himself upright, pulling the folded pants close to his chest, his fingers digging into the fabric, “Oh, you know, my legs just fell asleep.”

Sean laughs and Leo realises how close they are when he smells the whiskey on his breath, “You’ve been off on yer own all night, come have a drink with us. That oily bastard Micah’s the only one who bites and he passed out a while ago.”

Leo finds himself being directed closer to the campfire, Javier, Uncle and Arthur the only ones still awake. Javier sits strumming on his guitar and looks up seeing Sean pushing Leo closer and raises his hand in greeting.

“So the mysterious Leo decides to join us humble gunslingers afterall,” Javier jokes, grinning at Leo.

The small man plops himself down on a box, bringing his legs up and sitting cross-legged, smiling at Javier, “Ha, ha, Javier, real funny.”

A bottle’s passed to him, and he looks up to Arthur and shakes his head, “Sorry, I don’t drink.”

“Well, that’s new!” Uncle remarks, “Don’t think I ever met a young man who _doesn’t_ drink.”

Leo rubs his neck, “Addiction runs in the family. I’ve already got one under my belt, too, don’t want to add alcoholism too.”

“More for us,” Arthur says, knocking the cap off and taking a swig.

Javier picks at his guitar’s strings for a while, before starting to play a song. Sean perks up and, after taking another drink, starts to sing. It’s some song Leo’s never heard before, but he would be more than happy to listen to it over and over if Sean’s singing it. He does pick up on the melody and hums along, smiling at the lyrics. 

It’s a weird little song, and it’s over sooner than Leo expects. 

Arthur nudges his arm, “You sure sound like ya got some good singin’ voice.”

Leo can feel his explode and his voice cracks, “No, I-I’m not that great.”

“C’mon, Leo, sing a song for us,” Sean hollers.

The small man rubs his face, “The only songs I know off the top of my head are kind of sad! Totally not the right tone for this sort of thing.”

“It’s late and it’s just us, let’s hear it, boy!” Uncle raises his bottle, clearly wasted.

Leo groans and shoves his hands into his lap, “Fine, but this is absolutely the only time I’m doing this.”

A round of cheers go around through the three men, Arthur merely just huffing in amusement. Leo clears his throat and closes his eyes. He sings the first song that comes to mind, a short, gentle song of Saints and dogs. He can hear the beat in his ears and for a second, he feels like he’s home, sitting in his bed with the music playing in his ears and his soft, knitted blanket over his lap.

He opens his eyes when he’s done and stands quickly, nearly dropping John’s pants off his lap and onto the ground.

“And with that, I’m going to bed. Good night, guys. It was nice to meet you, Sean,” Leo speaks in a bit of a rush.

He in his tent before the other men even have a chance to reply, clutching the fabric to his chest so tightly, his fingers go white. Tears pour down his cheeks and he digs his teeth into his lip to keep in the sobs. He curls up on his cot, not even bothering to undress, and cries, wishing for the comforts of his little apartment and all his plants, or the bright, green wall of his bedroom at his mum’s house. 

Instead, he drifts into a dreamless sleep in a bare tent with dried tears on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he has Arrived  
> the songs being sung were 'whiskey' from the game and 'saint bernard' by lincoln


	5. Easy as Riding a Bike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hosea finally teaches Leo how to ride a horse.

Morning comes too soon for Leo. The sun manges to raise perfectly in line with a small gap in his tent, hitting his eyes much too early for his liking. Groaning, he rolls over, rubbing at the tightness around his eyes from last night's cry. Part of him and wants to stay in his cot, wrapped up in his flimsy blankets, but he knows that any minute now, Miss Grimshaw'll come marching over to drag him to some mundane chore. He curls in a little tighter, then hauls himself up, hoping he doesn't look as much of a mess as he feels.

He swings his legs over his cot and stands, opting to change his shirt and slapping a light jacket over top so he can look less like he just flopped onto his cot last night. Brushing his fingers through his hair with one hand, he grabs the wrinkled bundle that was the neatly folded, freshly mended pants of John.

Just as he pulled the flap of his tent, Leo nearly walks smack into Miss Grimshaw. He jumps, startled.

"Miss Grimshaw! Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep in. I just need to drop these off with John and then I can help out with whatever chore you need me to do," Leo says, hoping she's not too annoyed with him.

"Hosea's gonna teach ya to ride a horse today, told me to tell you to meet him just outside of camp," says Miss Grimshaw, "How'd you even make it this far in life without knowin' how to ride?"

Leo laughs, hoping it doesn't sound as awkward as it feels, "I just… never had anyone to teach me. That's all. I lived in the city so I could just walk everywhere." It's not a lie at least.

"Well, get on with you," Miss Grimshaw waves her hands in a motion for him to get going.

Leo ducks his head and smiles, thanking her softly. He spots Abigail as he's heading towards John's tents and detours over to give her his pants instead, before making his way down the path leading out of camp. Or at least, he intends to. 

His path is blocked suddenly and he bumps into a chest, stumbling back as hands grasp at his upper arms to steady him.

"Fallin' for me again, are ya?"

Leo feels his soul leave his body.

"Where're ya off to in such a rush?" Sean asks, a cheeky grin across his face.

The smaller scratches his cheek, "Hosea's going to teach me some stuff, he wants to meet up outside of camp and I think I'm a little late."

"Teach ya some stuff, eh? Well, I'm off to guard duty, I'll catch ya later, then," Sean salutes sloppily and goes off around, likely to find whoever's currently on guard.

Leo rubs his face, embarrassment and nervousness settling in even deeper. Hopefully Hosea would be kind enough to pick a spot far enough away that no one, especially not _Sean_ to see him fumble around on a horse. At least, not until this dumb, temporary crush wears off. 

He keeps his head down as he heads down the path quickly, begging to the Gods that no one else will pop in and be encouraged to watch the show. Thankful, he spots Hosea in the distance (though much closer to the edge of camp than he had hoped) with Silver Dollar and…

He freezes, his heart dropping.

Next to Silver Dollar stands the largest horse Leo had ever seen in his entire life. 

Now, he's not scared of horses. At least, not nearly as much as he jokes about. He's always had a way with animals and has always loved them. He's spend many lonely nights with the gangs' horses, plaiting their manes and sneaking them snacks and treats. But the thought of him, tiny, little four foot ten him, _mounting_ , yet alone _riding_ that huge horse terrifies him.

Before he has any time to do anything, Hosea spots him and waves to him. Leo knows this isn’t going to end well.

Making his way over, his dread grows heavier. 

"So, you're going to make me ride this guy, huh?"

Hosea pats the horse's flank, “I been meaning to offload this big shire horse for a while now, but since you don’t got a horse for yourself, you can take ‘im.”

Leo reaches his hand out toward the white shire, his palm up, “He sure is big…”

“He’s an angel… as long as I’m near him,” Hosea adds the last point so casually, Leo almost doesn’t catch it.

Leo breathes in heavily, the shire nuzzling his hand, “How did you get him? I don’t remember him from a few weeks ago with the wagons.”

“Some big, loud-mouthed bastard tried to rob me when I was out ridin’, so I… well, you know how it is,” Hosea shrugs.

Leo nods, rubbing the horse’s nose gently, in awe over he soft, velvety feeling, “He’s so soft.”

He slowly brings his other hand up, taking deep, calm breaths and rooting himself. He closes his eyes and pets the horse’s head, brushing his long fringe out of his eyes. The horse brings his head up and nudges Leo’s cheek, making the young man open his eyes and giggle a little.

“He’s sweet,” Leo says, smiling at the horse.

“Well, let’s getcha up on him, then,” Hosea motions towards a tree stump, “You should be able to use that to get up on him.”

Leo pauses, furrowing his brows, “He doesn’t have a saddle though?”

Hosea laughs a little, “We’re gonna go getcha one now, son. C’mon, mount up.”

Leo wants to yell as he watches Hosea mount Silver Dollar in one, swift motion. Sighing and knowing there was no way out of his, Leo grasped onto the makeshift reins around the shire’s neck and guided him over to the stump. He took a breath and stepped up onto the stump, keeping one hand grounded on the horse. With a deep breath, he pushes himself up, scrambling to try to get seated.

Of course it takes him a minute and by the time he’s balanced on the horse’s back, his cheeks are bright red. He rubs a hand along the horse’s shoulder, a small thanks on his lips. He straightens up and freezes when he hears cheering. He doesn’t want to turn around towards the camp, but he finds himself doing so anyway.

“Good job there, Leo!” Sean shouts from the edge of camp.

With a weak hand, Leo waves in reply. 

He wishes the ground would swallow him.

“Get back to work, boy!” Hosea shouts to the young man, then turns to Leo, “Nudge him with your heels, that’ll get him movin’. Nudge him again to go faster and put pressure with the opposite leg you wanna turn. Right leg for left, left leg for right. Let’s go.”

Hosea circles Silver Dollar around Leo and the shire before turning and heading in the direction of Valentine. Leo grounds himself and gently nudges the flanks of the shire with his heels. Holding the reins in his hands, he walks his horse to catch up with Hosea.

“It’s okay, big boy, we’re going to get you a saddle and all that stuff. Let’s work together, okay?” Leo speaks softly to the shire who snorts in return.

Leo smiles and pats the shire’s shoulder, “Thanks buddy.”

He nudges him to bring him to a trot, catching up with Hosea, “Think I’m doing okay!”

“Oh yeah? Let’s speed up a little, then.”

Leo laughs, “I thought you would say something like that.”

 

Coming back to camp in a saddle is much easier than riding bareback to Valentine. The leather reins feel better in his hands and having somewhere to put his feet helps him keep his balance on the massive horse. The stable owner thought that the shire had just wandered in on his own before Leo slid off his back. He didn’t stop laughing until Hosea marched in.

Leo spots Sean at the edge of camp, still on guard duty, and waves to him, feeling more confident having spent time with his new horse and actually having a saddle now too. Sean grins and waves back, coming over in a few strides.

“Almost didn’t see ya up there, got a name for the big bastard yet?”

Leo smiles, “Hey, don’t call him a bastard. He’s sweet.”

“Aye, and he was so sweet when he was tryna eat me hat.”

Leo covers his mouth to keep from laughing, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. But he does have a name. It’s Ea.”

Sean cocks his head, “ _Aye-uh_? What kinda name is that?”

“It’s an Akkadian and Babylonian God of water. A strong name for a strong boy,” Leo pats the shire’s neck softly, “I’m a bit of a historian. I’ve always loved learning ancient history. Fell in love with it with my first art history professor. She was incredible.”

“Oh no, yer one of those high society bastards, ain’t ya?” Sean says it playfully, a goofy grin on his lips.

Leo laughs, “No, not at all. My mum and I were fully in poverty. She had started saving money from the moment she knew she was pregnant with me so I could go to school. That’s all.”

Sean elbows Leo’s leg, “Whatever you say.”

“Are ya gonna stay up there all day? You’ve got chores to do, son,” Hosea calls from further in camp.

Leo then realises his mistake.

“I… don’t know how to get off…”

After a beat, Sean bursts into laughter, making Leo’s cheeks flush a deep red.

“Shut up! I’ve never ridden before! Plus Ea’s like three times my height! Stop laughing at me and help me down!”

Leo struggles in the saddle, trying to figure out how to get off his horse. His cheeks burn and he feels so dumb and humiliated. He flinches when hands touch his thigh, whipping his head around.

“Swing yer other leg over the back of the horse then slide down,” Sean says, “I won’t letcha fall.”

Biting his lip, Leo carefully follows Sean’s instructions, bring his leg over the back of Ea so his back is to Sean. The other man puts his hands on Leo’s waist, helping guide him down until his foot reaches the ground. 

Sean pulls back, stretching his arms out wide, “See? That’s all there is to it.”

Leo can still feel the warmth in his cheeks and he slaps a smile on his face for Sean, “Yeah, thank you, Sean.”

“My pleasure.”

Leo ducks his head down, grabbing Ea’s reins and guiding him towards the other horses to get all his tack off and tucked away. 

He has a feeling this crush isn’t going to be as temporary as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been riding Twice in my entire life despite being the horse kid from like age 3 to 9, pls don't @ me


	6. Worries for Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo makes a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things get weird!

Being able to leave the camp helps with the aches. 

Being able to leave after nightmares and find somewhere to stargaze to calm down. Being able to go and find somewhere to have a good cry or watch deer and rabbits or find a calm section of river and skip rocks or pick flowers and make crowns and chains or just get away. 

Despite being surrounded by people, Leo’s never felt more alone.

Constantly trying to play the amnesiac while not being able to talk about large aspects of his life drains him beyond belief. Leaving camp quietly in the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep and only one person on guard, lets him get some time to just be _himself_. 

Creeping towards Ea, he doesn’t even bother saddling him up tonight, the tears still fresh on his cheeks, more threatening to spill down. He needed to get out and he needed to get out _fast_. He coos softly to Ea, guiding him towards a nearby stump so he can scramble on his back. Leo grasps at the shire’s long mane, keeping his grip light and leans forward.

“Please,” his voice is barely above a whisper, “Please, get me out of here.”

Ea doesn’t make a noise. He bobs his head and makes his way down the path, the quieter one. For such a large horse, not a sound comes from under his hooves until they’re out of range of the camp. Leo lets Ea take him away from camp. He never takes him far, but the shire knows what his rider needs. 

It’s why when Ea stops suddenly, Leo tenses.

_‘Something’s off…’_

Hoofbeats from behind Leo catch his attention and he feels his heart drop to his stomach. Two riders. He too scared to turn around. His fingers grip tighter in Ea’s mane.

“Well, well, what have we here?”

“Looks like we got a lil’ lost kid on daddy’s horse.”

Neither of the voices are friendly.

Ea nickers, shaking his head and pawing at the ground. One rider comes around on the left and the other on the right. Leo keeps his body forward and tries to keep them both in view. 

“Can I help you?” His voice waivers and he’s honestly surprised it doesn’t crack or stutter.

“Ya know? Maybe you just can,” the one on the right says, his voice sending the same awful feeling Micah’s does through Leo, “My buddy and I, we’re a lil’ low on cash. Why dontcha give us everything ya got?”

The rider on the left rests his hand on his gun holster and the other rubs the strap of the rifle on his back, “We don’t want any accidents to happen, now do we?”

Leo tries to keep his hands from shaking, “I don’t have any money.”

“Well, ya got a nice horse, dontcha? Sure would fetch a pretty penny,” the one on the right sneers.

Ea flicks his tail, his ears pinned back anxiously. Leo can feel his nervousness, amplifying his own, or maybe it was the other way around. He doesn’t know, all he knows is how much he regrets falling asleep earlier. If he hadn’t fallen asleep, he wouldn’t have had that nightmare and he wouldn’t have left camp and he wouldn’t be here and-

He stops himself, knowing if he continued down that spiral, things would only get worse. He takes a breath.

“He’s not for sale. I’m sorry, sirs.”

“Wrong answer.”

It all happens in a blur. The rider on the left draws his pistol, the one on the right raises his pistol, Ea startles. A bullet fires. The sound of cracking ice fills Leo’s ears as he holds onto Ea’s mane with one hand, the other raised to his right with his fingers pointed up. The rider on the left is silent. The rider on the right is dead.

A spear of ice jets from his chin, through his head and out the back, covered in crimson blood. His horse panics and bolts, kicking the rider off. The rider on the left cocks his gun.

“You, you killed him! W-What are you?”

Leo whips his head around, his eyes wide and full of tears. The rider aims his pistol and Leo brings his left arm up, a pale green, almost white, translucent barrier forms as the rider fires his gun multiple times until the barrel clicks. He fumbles, trying to reload. With a flick of his wrist, ice jolts through the man’s head in the same manner, blood spraying across the barrier. His horse rears, knocking the corpse off and runs.

Leo drops his hand, breathing heavy and shaking violently. Ea whinnies, turning his head to look at Leo. The young man raises a trembling hand and pats the shire’s shoulder. Tears drip down his cheeks and he buries his face into Ea’s mane.

_‘I want to go home…’_

Ea turns, shaking his head slightly and makes his way back towards camp. Leo clings to Ea’s neck, his whole body trembling and cold. 

“Leo!”

The young man jerks his head up at the sound of his name. Arthur runs over, his rifle in his hands, some other behind him, Leo can’t really make them out. 

“What’s goin’ on? Why’re you not at camp?”

Leo opens his mouth, his hands clinging to Ea’s mane, “Nightmare.”

“We heard gunshots, what happened?” Someone else asks, Leo can’t place who.

“Bad men,” Leo feels unsteady and weak, “Tried to rob me. Ea…”

Hands touch his leg and he recoils quickly, his eyes wide and fearful. He can’t see who tried to touch him. People are talking but he can’t hear them. It’s all too much.

“Are you hurt, Leo?” Leo recognises that as Hosea.

He shakes his head, his voice catching in his throat.

“Let’s get you off your horse, I’m gonna help you down.”

Hands touch his back and Leo flinches again, but tries to stay calm. He swings his leg over Ea’s back and slides down, Hosea keeping him steady. An arm wraps around his shoulders and he jerks.

“It’s okay, I gotcha,” Mary-Beth speaks softly, “Let’s get ya back to your tent.”

“Ea?”

“He’s right here. He’s a good horse, ain’t he?” Mary-Beth smiles.

“Surprisin’ since he was such an unruly beast,” Hosea remarks, walking a few paces behind Mary-Beth and Leo.

Leo stumbles, drained and weak. Mary-Beth keeps a tight hold on him, guiding him into camp. Everything’s so blurred and foggy. He finds himself in front of his tent and blinks, taking a shaky breath. 

“Thank you, I’m sorry,” Leo says to Mary-Beth.

“Don’t be,” she rubs his shoulder gently, “Go back to sleep. Dutch’ll want to talk in the mornin’ for sure.”

Leo nods mutely and forces himself into his tent and to his cot. He’s asleep the moment he curls up.

 

When he awakens, the sun is high and his body aches. He pushes himself up, groaning. He rubs his eyes and yawns. Shuffling out of his tent, the memories from last night slam him hard. The sound of ice cracking, the spray of blood, the men’s lifeless eyes. Leo’s knees buckle and he almost falls. He catches himself before he does, his stomach flopping.

“Leo, over here.”

Leo looks up, spotting Dutch near his tent. Taking a deep breath, he heading over, trying to bullshit some story.

“Didja hear about the two bodies they found just outside of Valentine?” 

The young man turns, catching Javier sitting down at the table with Lenny and Sean. 

“Both had a hole through their head, clean through from their throats straight back. Apparently they were some local bandits, been wanted for a while.”

Leo feels like he’s about to be sick. Biting his lip, he walks a little faster towards Dutch.

“Good morning, Dutch,” Leo forces himself to greet the man.

Dutch jerks his head back, “Come sit with me.”

Leo follows him around the side of his tent where some boxes sit. He waits for the older man to sit first. 

“I take great pride in this gang. We have a saying - we save those who need savin’, kill those who need killin’, and feed those who need feedin’. Now, you needed savin’ up in those mountains, so we did.”

Pulling at his sleeve, Leo looks up at Dutch, “And I thank you for that. I would have died without your help.”

Dutch leans forward, resting his arms on his knees, “Now, why was you up in the mountains in the first place?”

Leo twists his hands, “I don’t know, I can’t remember how I got there. I told you I would tell you the moment I remembered anything.”

“So you say,” Dutch leans back, “What was you doin’ outside of camp last night.”

“I…” Leo looks down to his lap, “I had a nightmare. I have them just about every night. They’re violent and I wake up in a panic. I usually just need to go and calm down and I don’t want to wake anyone up, so I just leave. It’s usually not that far, I just don’t want to worry anyone.”

Dutch is quiet for a moment, “Did you have anythin’ to do with the two bodies found outside Valentine?”

Leo jerks his head up, his eyes wide, “B-Bodies?”

“Two bodies were found his morin’. Javier was in town, runnin’ some errands and overheard some law talkin’ ‘bout some strange deaths that happened over night. Two bandits who were wanted for murder and theft. Known for attackin’ people travelin’ at night.”

“I… They must have been the two who tried to rob me. Ea bolted before they could do anything and I got real shaken up,” Leo bites his lip, hoping Dutch buys it.

Dutch hums, crossing his arms over his chest, “Stay in camp for now. I’ll find someone to teach ya how to shoot.”

Leo nods, “I will. Thank you.”

He stands a little too quickly and rushes off, hoping to get away from the suffocating atmosphere from that little corner of camp. His hands shake and he clenches his fists to stop them. He makes a beeline for Ea, hoping that sitting down and plaiting his mane would help calm his racing mind. He wishes he could talk to someone, anyone. Would anyone even believe him? Do they have any reason to? Would they send him out if they found out about him and what he can do? Would he be abandoned again? Would they use him? 

Ea nickers in his face, startling Leo from his thoughts. He shakes his head and runs his fingers over Ea’s velvety nose. He sighs and plops down, Ea bumping his head to his chest. Leo hugs the shire’s head loosely, closing his eyes. 

He can worry about all that another day. Today’s not the day they find out. For now, he can just close his eyes and pretend he’s living normally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no sean this chapter :/ wanted to try to establish my mysterious self insert more and add some tension and struggles and drama bc i dont want to rush it  
> comments would be nice! lmk what you think, if u liked it or if ur interested in where this is going or if it feels funky, it really helps keep me motivated :3c


	7. A Well Needed Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events, Leo can't keep this a secret anymore and goes to the only person he feels he can trust with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie this feels rushed but whatever, seans gonna be in the next chapter

Guilt eats at Leo.

Three days have passed since the incident and he’s been confided to the camp. He hasn’t gotten a lick of sleep - every time he tries, his mind races, replaying the men’s dead eyes and spiralling into ‘what-if’s. 

It’s when _Kieran_ of all people startles him (and in turn, startles Kieran who nearly drops the saddle he’s carrying) that he decides he needs help. He needs to talk to someone.

So he goes to the one he feels he can confide in.

Wringing his hands, he finds himself standing a few metres away from Hosea, trying to figure out how to word… anything. The vast majority of people in the group, if not _all_ have probably killed someone in their life (besides Jack, at least, Leo hopes), so no one would judge him, right? From what Dutch said and what he overheard from Javier, they weren’t good men and it was self-defence. But he knows he’s going to have to explain _how_ it happened. Last time he did that-

“Leo, how are ya feelin’, boy?”

Leo snaps his head up, pulled from his thoughts, “Uh, I’m okay. How about you?”

Hosea shrugs, “Doin’ as well as I can with all this.”

“Hey, uh, can we talk? Just us? And keep it between us?” Leo worries his lip between his teeth, hoping he doesn’t come across too anxious.

“Sure,” Hosea looks concerned as he gestures towards the path, “Take a ride, then?”

Leo nods, following Hosea to the horses. He saddles up quickly and uses a nearby stump to mount Ea, turning him around to find Hosea and nodding, letting the older man lead.

“We’re headin’ out,” Hosea says, nodding to Lenny on guard.

Leo waves as they pass, hoping Lenny can’t tell how forced the smile on his face is. The two ride for a little ways in quiet, Leo chews on the inside of his mouth, his anxiety gnawing at his stomach. The gentle babbling of water draws him back to the present. Hosea dismounts and pulls a fishing pole from Silver Dollar’s saddle. Making his way down to the small river’s bank, he looks back up to Leo.

“Hope this is alright. Figured you wanted somewhere quiet.”

Leo nods, dropping down from Ea’s back and making his way down next to Hosea, sitting down a metre or two away. Quiet falls between them as Hosea baits his line and casts it.

“Those… those men in Valentine. The two who died of mysterious causes? I… they were the ones who tried to rob me,” Leo says in a small voice, his fingers running over the rocks on the river’s bank.

Hosea hums, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… I… I was the one who killed them too…”

Hosea pauses, looking down at Leo. Leo doesn’t look up.

“I haven’t been telling the full truth. I need you to promise me not to tell anyone, not Dutch, not Arthur, not Miss Grimshaw, no one else. Please, Hosea. I’ll tell the others when I’m ready or if something happens, but I… I can’t sleep and I need to talk to _someone_.”

There’s a beat, a moment Leo feels drags on for hours. Hosea nods, “Alright. I promise, Leo.”

A small portion of the weight on his shoulders lifts.

“I know sort of how I got out there in the snow that night. I’m still trying to figure it fully out, but, well… I was born on the twenty-first of November… 1999. The last date I remember was sometime in May, 2019. I… I was being an idiot and fucked up big time and wound up in the snow. 

“Now, on the whole thing with _how_ I got out there… It’s wild, so bear with me. I have these… abilities. I was born with them, people sometimes do. I’ve known a few and there’s been a couple in my family before. I, uh, usually just call myself a witch.”

Leo stands, “Here, I-I can prove it. I know it sounds surreal.”

He lifts a hand, facing the river. Taking a deep breath his slowly tilts his hand upwards, willing a small tendril of water to raise up, swirling around in a loose spiral. He drops his hand and lets out a breath, the water dropping with a small splash. Hosea doesn’t speak, but reels his line in and folds up his fishing pole. He turns towards Leo, a look of utter confusion across his face.

Leo shuffles his feet, “I… panicked when they pulled their guns on me. I knew that I would die and I just… ran on instinct. The wounds… they were ice spears. Water magic, it’s what I’m best at.”

A small bird lands on his shoulder and hops down to his hand as he raises his arm, “Animal communication is another. It’s one I was born with. That’s why I’m so good with animals, since I can actually, literally communicate with them. Ea isn’t _that_ unruly, he didn’t like the man you stole him from and wasn’t sure what was going on when you took him… He’s still a bastard though.”

Ea whinnies from up the bank, tossing his head. Leo giggles a little, letting the bird fly off. He shallows thickly, wrapping his arms around himself.

“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I thought I could maybe live a normal life here, or as normal as I could living with a gang who robs trains and coaches and am a hundred and twenty years in the past,” Leo’s laugh feels and sounds hollow.

“I’ve… lost people before. After they found out, or through some other reasons about me, and I don’t have anyone else besides all of you. I was… I was scared… But now I can’t sleep and I didn’t have anyone to talk to… So I came to you. I didn’t have a dad, but… you feel like what I’d imagine a dad would feel like.”

Leo gives a half smile, tossing his hands out loosely, “So, yeah. I’ll answer any questions you have to the best of my ability.”

Hosea stays quiet. The smaller man fidgets nervously.

“So,” the older man finally breaks the silence, “What all can ya do?”

“Well, I personally can’t do a lot - I’m still learning and teaching myself. There’s a lot of magic and abilities, I can’t even begin to count or list them all. Like I said, water is what I’m best with for elemental stuff, and I can communicate with animals. I can also communicate with plants to a much lesser degree, make short term barriers and heal most minor wounds. There’s some other stuff I can do theoretically, but I’m still learning, plus I’m on my own now.”

Hosea nods, taking a moment to take it all in. 

“I see…”

Leo doesn’t speak, he just folds his hands and picks at the skin around his nails - an old anxious tick he never managed to get under control. The atmosphere doesn’t feel suffocating, at least, tense, but he can still breathe.

“Well, it all sounds bizarre, but I saw it for my own eyes,” Hosea speaks up, rubbing his chin, “Let’s head back home. Thanks for tellin’ me, son. Musta taken a lot outta ya.”

Hosea puts a hand on Leo’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. The younger brightens at the motion and perks up. He follows Hosea back to the horses, Ea snorting when he sees his small rider and moving to chew on the bun Leo pulled his hair back into. Leo swats lightly at the shire, Ea absolutely not impressed and continuing to pull the young man’s hair.

“So, you’re not going to kick me out?”

Hosea turns, pausing in mounting Silver Dollar, “No. Why would I do somethin’ like that? You got anywhere you can go?”

“Well, no,” Leo says, blinking and hauling himself onto Ea ungracefully, “I just… I don’t know.”

“Besides,” Hosea directs his horse back towards the way they came, “Sean would be devastated if ya up and left.”

Leo falters, nearly falling off Ea as he tries to balance himself, “What?”

“The boy’s useless as it is,” Hosea snorts, “Don’t fret too much about it.”

Hosea pushes Silver Dollar forward, heading back to camp at a casual trot. Leo blinks then shakes his head, clicking his tongue to have Ea catch up.

“By the way, Hosea?”

He gets a hum in response.

“Thank you. For hearing me out and listening to my wild-ass story. And for believing me more or less.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cdjsdbalhd i do Not care if this is """"cringey"""" i'm having fun and that's what matters  
> also hosea is my dad


	8. Sleepless Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo can't sleep, so he goes to try to make use of a sleepless night.

Another sleepless night.

Leo tosses and turns, frustration eating at him. He just wants to sleep, even if just for an hour or two. Talking with Hosea a few days ago really did help ease his mind, but sleep still eludes him. He’s given up on his old night medications altogether, they stopped working days into… whatever this is. He’s just glad his others still work and for that reason alone, isn’t about to question them or how they don’t seem to run out.

Throwing the blankets off, he decides to go relieve whoever’s on guard. He still can’t shoot a gun, but he can make a ruckus and Ea wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Shoving his jacket and boots on, he pushes the flap of his tent aside and makes his way towards the edge of camp. 

As he makes his way to the edge of camp, he just about bumps into someone in the dark.

“Sorry,” Leo’s quick to apologise and keeps his head down, both old habits.

“We ought to stop meetin’ like this, eh?”

Leo sighs, feeling his cheeks warm and he’s so glad for how dark everything is. He raises his head to smile, but can’t really see any details of Sean’s face, and knows he wouldn’t be able to see his face either.

“What are you doing up? It’s late,” Leo asks, changing the topic.

“I could ask ya the same,” Sean redirects and Leo can just about feel the toothy (ish) grin on his face.

“Can’t sleep. I’m going to take over whoever’s on guard. Might as well let them sleep,” Leo shrugs and makes to move towards the path of camp.

Sean moves in his way, “Ya can’t even shoot a gun, how ya plan on bein’ on guard duty?”

“I can be loud, I can make a lot of noise so…” Leo steps to the side, squeezing around Sean.

He can hear some rustling behind him and Sean is soon in step with him, a rifle in his hands. Leo sighs and rubs his face.

“What?” Sean asks.

Leo just lets out a breath and continues to the edge of camp, Sean following behind. For a brief moment, Leo’s reminded of a little puppy following him around. He bites his lip to stop from laughing at the image.

“Hey,” he calls out softly, “Who’s on guard here?”

“Why?” Javier asks, his voice dipping with exhaustion.

“Sean and I are taking over, go get some sleep.”

Javier must be exhausted. He doesn’t make any comments as he stands from his spot on a fallen tree trunk and passes down the path with just a small ‘thanks’ on his lips. Leo makes his way over and settles down against the trunk, bringing his knees up and half laying down. Sean sits next to him, splaying his legs out in front of him and rest the gun across his lap.

Leo gazes up at the sky, mentally counting the constellations and trying to spot the planets.

“You know?” Leo speaks softly, “I’ve always loved the night sky, but I’ve never seen this many stars in my entire life. Well, before meeting up with you all, anyway. It’s incredible to be able to actually see constellations and all that.”

“Where did ya live that you couldn’t see stars?” Sean sounds absolutely confused.

“Downtown Philadelphia, a lot of light pollution there.”

A quiet falls over them. Resting his hands over his chest, he rolls his head to look up at Sean. With his eyes now adjusted to the dark, he can make out his jawline and his ruffled hair. Moonlight hits him just at the right angle, giving soft highlights to his face. Leo can just about make out some of his freckles too.

“So, that metal in yer face. What’s all that ‘bout?”

Leo blinks and absentmindedly turns his septum piercing, “They’re just piercings. I… I just like the look of them. Had most of these for a while. Same with my tattoos too.”

Sean turns his head, his eyebrows raised, “Ya got tattoos, too?”

Leo hums, “Yeah, seven. Most are on my arms, but I’ve got my biggest ones on my back and on my chest.”

He traces over the left side of his chest, a soft smile on his lips.

“They don’t hurt, do they?”

Leo laughs a little, “Are you kidding? They hurt like a fucking bitch getting them, and some of my piercings were sore for weeks after getting them done. And the one on my back goes over my spine and on top of the stinging of getting it done, I could feel the vibrations up my entire spine and around into my ribs. But none hurt anymore.”

Sean laughs with Leo, a sound Leo knows he wants to hear more of. 

“So, why _were_ you up this late?” Leo asks, rubbing at his eyes and stifling a yawn.

Sean shrugs, “Me da was killed in his sleep. The British chased him over here and shot him… in his bed… Don’t sleep easy now.”

Leo frowns, his heart aching. He gently reaches over and places his hand on Sean’s leg, “I’m sorry, Sean. I can’t imagine how hard that had to be. I’ve heard you mention him here and there, he must have meant a lot to you.”

“He did. He really did.”

Leo gives his leg a soft squeeze, “I’d love to hear more about him. I’m sure you’ve got some great stories.”

Sean laughs, “That I sure do.”

Yawning, Leo slouches a little more. Sean looks down, “Ya should go back ‘n get some sleep. Yer ‘bout to fall asleep right here.”

“No, I’m okay,” Leo says, rubbing his eyes again, “I don’t want another nightmare. I can’t fall asleep.”

“Nightmare?”

Leo nods, “I get them every time I fall asleep. They’re violent and awful and always involve people I know. I panic when I wake up.”

Silence falls over the pair. Leo struggles to stay awake, suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. His eyes droop and he curls a little more into himself. He desperately tries to stay awake, but soon, he finds himself drifting off. His head slumps to the side and for once, no nightmares chase him through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao my self inserts a terrible ass guard  
> i have done my research, septum piercings very much existed in 1899, but just werent that common in the us (at least among white ppl, idk too much if they were common among some native tribes, i didnt do that much research i just wanted to know if i would have to hide my piercings or not)  
> i also only have five tats, but two are planned to get so i just slapped them on my self insert bc why not


	9. Mornings and Rabbits

A nudging at his foot wakes Leo in the morning. He squishes his face up, rubbing at his eyes to get the sleep out of them. He feels his pillow shift under him and he furrows his brows and opens his eyes. He’s a bit surprised to see a small rabbit sniffing at his boot. Raising a hand slowly, he lets it comes closer, sniffing for food in his hand.

“That little guy’s been there for a while. Ya sure got a way with animals.”

Leo feels his cheeks flush and he jerks his head up, startling the rabbit a little as he turns to face Sean. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you, I didn’t mean to fall asleep at _all_. Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I-”

“Hey, hey, ya don’t have anything to worry ‘bout,” Sean brings his hands up and puts them on Leo’s shoulders.

Leo flinches slightly, but relaxes at the touch soon. He sighs and leans back against the log. The rabbit returns, sniffing at his hand before climbing into Leo’s lap. He smiles, petting the rabbit softly. 

“How early is it? I didn’t sleep for too long, did I?”

“Nah, not long.”

Sean looks down at Leo’s lap, watching the rabbit for a moment. The smaller takes notice and moves his hand.

“You can pet her, she’s a sweet little thing,” Leo says, smiling gently and looking up to Sean

The Irishman grins like a little kid, “Really?”

Leo nods, taking Sean’s closest hand in his and bringing it to the rabbit. She sniffs his hand then bumps her nose against the freckled flesh. Sean runs his fingers over her head and scratches behind her ear. The rabbits shakes her head, flicks her ears and bounces off Leo’s lap and into the bushes.

Rustling comes from down the path coming from camp, Leo and Sean both looking in the direction. Bill nods his head at the two then jerks it back to camp.

“My turn, Dutch wants to talk to ya, Sean.”

Sean stands, dusting off his pants and holds his hand out to haul Leo up. The smaller blinks and takes his hand, stumbling as Sean pulls him with a little more force. Leo follows Sean down the path, waving at Bill as they passed. He puts his hand on Sean’s back gently, walking a little faster to fall in step beside him.

“Thanks for sitting out with me. I really would love to hear some stories about your dad sometime.”

Sean positively beams, his smile wide and it brightens up his entire face, “Of course! I’ve got a whole lotta stories of me old da.”

Leo pats his arm and smiles up at him, “I’m going to head back to my tent. See you around, Sean.”

The smaller heads off, ducking into his tent quickly and hiding his face in his hands.

He suddenly knows this isn’t going to be some temporary crush.

He really is falling for Sean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this ones so short, i have an idea for the after this scene and it felt weird to try to incorporate them together in one chapter, so i cut them up into two different chapters


	10. Accidental Mistakes and Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo fucks up

It’s a simple mission. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone there so Dutch just sent Arthur, Sean and Leo, hoping it’d be good experience for Leo. It had started great, the camp had been deserted and the three looted some good food and a decent amount of cash. Then Arthur managed to find some evidence that it had been O’Driscolls who sat up camp.

“Shit.”

Leo looks up at Arthur’s cussing and tilts his head as he watches him stand up quickly, “What’s wrong?”

“O’Driscolls. this whole thing was probably a set up. We need to leave,” Arthur says, grabbing the reins of his horse and pulling himself up, “Sean! Get your ass outta there. We gotta get goin’.”

Leo hauls himself onto Ea’s back, and turns him around. A glint up the hill catches Leo’s eye. Dread fills his stomach.

A sniper.

Sean steps out of the far tent, his back to the gunman. He takes aim. 

Leo acts before he can even think.

A shot rings out through the camp. Arthur’s horse rears and the man swings his leg over the horse’s back and yanks his rifle from the saddle. Sean drops to the ground, fumbling with his revolver. Leo’s hand hovers, still outstretched. A pale green, translucent barrier wraps around the north side of the camp. It dissolves and Arthur shoots the gunman dead. 

The two men turn to Leo, confusion covering their faces. Leo panics, his eyes widening and filling with tears.

“I… I’m… I’m sorry.”

He yanks on Ea’s reins, turning him and bolting. 

Ea whinnies, galloping hard through brush and tall grass. Leo’s knuckles turn white and he can feel his nails digging into his palms. Everything was going okay - he had found a family of sorts, he was being taken care of, he had friends, a place to sleep, somewhere to call home - and he just _had_ to fuck it up. He doesn’t even know where he’s going at this point, or even how far he’s gone or how long it’s been. Ea pants heavy beneath him and slows, tossing his head. Leo blinks back his tears, wiping his eyes and cheeks as he looks around.

It had started to get dark, stars starting to dot the sky. He doesn’t recognise the area and the darkening sky doesn’t help. He tightens his grip on Ea’s reins, his breath catching in his throat. Ea nickers, flicking his ears back and slowing to a stop. Leo leans forward and rubs his shoulder, feeling the shire’s tense, trembling muscles.

“I’m so sorry, Ea, I’m so sorry. I… I fucked up. Let’s just… find somewhere to rest.”

He swings his leg over Ea’s back and slides down, tossing the reins over the horse’s back to lead him through the field. Leo pets Ea’s nose, cooing softly to the shire.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. You doing alright, honey?”

Ea mouths at his bit, snorting. Leo frowns, “I’m sorry. We’ll find a spot soon and I can get your bridle off. You can take a rest soon.”

Someone shouting makes them both freeze.

“Hello? Is someone there? Can you help me please?”

Leo looks around, trying to gauge where they could be. They sounded like they were to the left a little ways and he leads Ea over. A young woman comes into view, sitting in a bit of an awkward position on the side of the path.

“Hello? Are you okay?”

She looks up, exhaustion clouding her eyes, “I went ‘n twisted my ankle. I don’t think I can make it home alone and my horse was stolen. Can you help me?”

Leo nods, “Sure, where do you need to go?”

The woman lets out a breath of relief, “Oh, thank you so much, sir. I live a little ways outside of Strawberry, I can give you directions.”

Leo helps her up, letting her lean her weight on him as he guides her to Ea. He helps her up, wincing when she hisses in pain. He scrambles up on Ea after. The young woman rests her hand on Leo’s waist.

“It’s a bit of a ride, I was out here visitin’ family. Follow the path here and I’ll let ya know when to turn.”

Leo nods, “Okay, thanks. I’m Leo, by the way.”

“Oh, I didn’t even introduce myself, I’m Florence, Florence Lentz. My husband’s probably so worried ‘bout me,” Florence sighs.

“I’ll get you home soon,” Leo promises, “I’m sorry, Ea’s real tired though, so it might take a little longer.”

“It’ll still be much sooner than if I hadn’t ran into you, so thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I’m glad I can help.”

A quiet falls between them, before Florence points, “Go north here, we’ll cut by Valentine.”

Leo nods, “Okay, I think I have an idea of where we are then. I’ve never been past Valentine, so I’ll still need some help, though.”

“Were you lost, then?”

Leo sighs, debating whether or not to tell the truth, or at least as close to it as he could. The young woman hasn’t given him any reason to not trust her - she’s obviously stressed and tired and in pain. He bite his lip and decides he has nothing left to lose.

“Yeah, I… I was with this group and they… accidentally found out something about me that I had kept a secret. I… I just ran, I was so scared about their reactions that I just bolted. I didn’t know where I was going. I just… I didn’t want the last faces I see of them to be of hatred or disgust.”

Florence rubs Leo’s shoulder, “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have a place to stay?”

“No,” he says, shaking his head, “They were all I had. I didn’t even pack or anything.”

“Stay with us then. It’s the least I can do after all this - Stay on this path for a while - I live on a little farm with my husband, my sons and my daughter. They’re all lovely people.”

Leo opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again, “I… I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t want to… to impose.”

Florence laughs softly, “It’s no problem, we’ve got a good lil’ farm and Annabelle could really use someone new to pester.”

“She’s your daughter?”

“Yeah,” her voice is laced with affection, “She’s the youngest, too, and is so curious about the world.”

Leo smiles, “How old are all of them?”

“Annabelle’s four, Henry’s eight and Roy’s eleven. Both boys help out Thomas with the crops and all that,” Florence says, “Follow the path north, we’ll cross the river, then go south.”

“Got it. It sounds like you have a nice family.”

“I do,” Leo can heard the fondness in her voice, “Been gone for ‘bout a week. It’s the longest I’ve been gone since Annabelle was born. Cross this little creek and we’ll be almost there. It’s just over the next hill.”

Leo follows her directions and over the hill, a house comes into view, with a small barn and a little garden. A man sits out on the porch steps, with a little girl playing with a doll. He looks up at the sound of Ea coming down the path. Florence waves at him.

“It’s just me, honey. Some bandits stole Dahlia and I twisted my ankle. Leo here found me and rode me here,” she says as Leo guides Ea to the house.

The man, Thomas, Leo assumes, jumps up, “Are ya alright?”

Florence nods, “Besides my ankle, just fine.”

Thomas helps her down off Ea’s back. Annabelle runs up to her and wraps her arms around her mother’s legs, fists balling the fabric of her skirt. Florence runs her fingers through the little girl’s long hair and smiles back up at Leo.

“Thank you again, Leo, please, at least spend the night here. You’re more than welcome to stay until you figure out what to do,” Florence says as Thomas helps her up the steps.

Leo pauses, thinking it over. Ea whinnies, tossing his head and pawing at the ground. The young man smiles gently, and slides off his horse, leading him to the side of the house to hitch him.

“Alright, Ea does need a rest.”

Florence beams, “Good! Annabelle, go get Henry to find some blankets.”

The little girl nods and hurries into the house to find her brother. Leo follows behind Florence and Thomas into the little house, trying to figure out what he needs to do. Thomas helps his wife upstairs as a young boy comes down with an armful of blankets. Leo helps him with them and gets set up on the little couch. Thomas comes down shortly after.

“Thank you, Leo,” he says, shooing Henry off to bed, “For helpin’ Florence. She told me about what you told her. You’re more than welcome to stay here for a few days.”

Leo nods, “Thank you, both of you, really. I appreciate it a lot.”

Thomas bops his head and heads back upstairs biding the young man good night. Leo flops onto the couch, covering his eyes with his arm. His chest aches. He rolls over to his side and tries to fall asleep, hoping that come morning, he can figure something out.

Once more, he’s plagued with nightmares all night long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam im going to bed


	11. Of Returns and Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo returns to the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very quick and short explanation about the first line  
> so my mum is native (choctaw rogue river) and her ex husband, my biological father is white so i'm mixed and they had me in san francisco then when i was two moved to australia and we stayed there until i was twelve which then we moved back to the states so my home and accent is australian so.... yeah.. it's kinda confusing bc i'll be like 'yeah i'm half native' and people are always 'but... ur australian' so yeah... just wanted to get that out there

_Dust blows across the street, the red colour reminding Leo of his home country. The small town is eerily quiet - no dogs, no people, no noise, nothing. Leo takes a step and the dust clears for a moment, allowing him to see four figures walking down the empty, dirt street. He tries to speed up, but his legs won’t let him run. Despite the distance, he can hear them clearly._

_“And what about burnin’ their fields?” That voice is Sean’s, there’s no doubt about that._

_“They don’t know we had anythin’ to do with that.” Leo feels that awful chill down his spine, realising that was Micah._

_“Oh, that so?” Arthur speaks next._

_“Yeah, they think it was the Braithwaites. Listen, I know these Gray boys a bit now. This is on the level.” Micah once more._

_“We’re stuck in the middle of some ancient feud, but instead of playin’ both sides, we’re bein’ used by both of ‘em.” Arthur again._

_“They were sayin’ the Catherine Braithewaite…” Bill, the fourth person._

_“Hey, hold up. This don’t feel right.” Arthur says, stopping._

_“Now it don’t feel right?” Sean steps forward a few paces, “I coulda told ya-”_

_A gun fires. Blood splatters across Sean’s face and he falls back, dead. Leo screams._

“Leo! Leo, wake up!”

Leo jolts awake, tears streaming down his cheeks, his chest heaving and his blankets bunched around his waist. Florence’s hand guides his face towards hers, her face painted with confusion and worry.

“W-What?” Leo voice is raw and strained.

“You were screamin’ and thrashin’ in your sleep,” Florence says, “It must have been a pretty bad nightmare.”

Leo looks down to his lap, his hands trembling, “Y-Yeah… a nightmare.”

Florence pats his hands gently, standing upright, “I’ll make you some coffee, do you wanna talk ‘bout it?”

Wiping his eyes, Leo pulls himself up, his legs shaky, “I… I don’t know. Some coffee would be good…”

He follows her to the small kitchen, wringing his hands together. The image of Sean falling, blood covering him, lingers in Leo’s mind no matter how hard he tries to focus on something, anything else. In his gut, he knows what it is. The past four nights he’s slept at Florence and Thomas’ house he’s had nothing but them.

Prophetic dreams.

He never learnt _why_ he gets them, but it’s one of the abilities that runs in his family - his mother could, her aunt could. At random, he’ll have dreams depicting what will happen. So far he’s seen Hosea die (shot through the chest in a large city), Arthur die (alone on a cliff, facing the sunrise), Micah doing awful things (killing a dog, ratting on the gang, shooting up a small town) and now Sean dying. He’s managed to pin down that each death is Micah’s fault, that what’s to come is his to blame. This last one was the final clue.

A cup of coffee being sit in front of him jerks him from his thoughts. He looks up at Florence, who tilts her head towards the front door. He follows her to the steps of the porch and sits down, cradling the warm cup in his hands. Crickets chirp and the strange blue of early, early morning hovers over the small property.

Florence takes a sip from her cup, “So, what happened?”

Leo bites his lip, “I… watched someone I love die. He was smiling and joking around and then he was shot through the head and just… fell down dead. It was… so real and I…”

His grip on the cup tightens and he forces the tears back.

“He’s one of those you left a few days ago?”

Leo nods, unable to get his voice around the lump in his throat. Florence hums, taking another sip from her coffee. Leo tries to as well and recoils at the taste, never really one for coffee. 

“I think…” He starts, “I think I’m going to go back in the morning. Explain everything, try to prevent their deaths. I… I can’t just sit around knowing what’s going to happen to them, knowing that I can help stop it.”

Florence smiles softly, looking out over the small farm as the warm light of dawn begins to stretch out. Their cow moos in the distance and their chickens start to coo, followed by their rooster. She stands, taking Leo’s cup from her hands. He stumbles up as well, following her back inside.

“I really am thankful for all you’ve done, I just… I need to see him… I need to know he’s alright and I need to save him.”

Florence nods, “Of course. We’ll help you get ready. Thomas and the boys should be up soon.”

 

By the time the sun’s up, Leo stands in front of the house, Ea’s reins in his hands. Annabelle hugs his legs and he rubs the top of her head gently. Florence hands him a bundle of food and a small canteen. Smiling, Leo thanks her and puts them both in the small saddle bag. He heaves himself onto Ea’s back.

“Thank you, all of you. It’s meant so much for you to let me stay here with you all.”

Florence pats his leg, “It’s no problem at all. You’re always welcome back here.”

Leo smiles, “Thank you.”

He pulls on Ea’s reins, guiding the shire towards the road. He waves at the family as he leaves and until he can’t see them any longer. He looks down at his hand, a small map guiding him back to Valentine scrawled across it. His heart hammers in his chest as he sets Ea into a gallop. 

He knows he’s going have to explain himself to Dutch and explain to Arthur and Sean what happened back at that camp. Hosea took it alright, maybe they will as well… Leo hopes anyway. He knows he can tell Arthur about Micah, he already doesn’t like him much. Maybe he can do something - Dutch seems to trust him enough. He’s going to do anything to save these men.

By noon, he can see the edge of Valentine in the distance. His stomach flips as he turns down towards the gang’s camp. He’s scared, there’s no denying it. If the gang kicks him out, what does he do? He could always go back to Florence and her family, but then he loses Sean and he won’t be able to save him and Hosea and Arthur and any others Micah kills. 

Leo pulls on Ea’s reins, slowing him to a trot. He still needs time to think. He can see the treeline in the distance that surrounds the camp.

Does he just ride in? Should he find who’s on guard duty and ask them to fetch Dutch, Arthur and Sean? Should he even go back? His grimoire and all his belongings are still there and he needs those. How would he gets those if he just leaves? How would he save them if he just leaves?

“Who goes there?”

Leo jumps, making Ea stop suddenly, the shire huffing. Charles stands at the edge of the treeline, his gun in his hands and aimed at Leo. The small man holds his hands up.

“It’s Leo.”

Charles drops his gun, “Leo? Where have you been?”

Leo brings his hands back to his lap, twisting them nervously, “. I-I need to talk with Dutch, Arthur and Sean. Privately. Can… Can you get them for me? With their horses, I would like to ride out with them.”

“I can pass the message onto them. Dutch won’t be happy.”

“I know.”

The young man waits anxiously at the edge of the trees, his heart jumping from the bottom of his stomach to the back of his throat, a cold sweat breaking out down his back. He shivers and clenches his fists to stop their trembling. Through the trees, he sees Arthur riding down the path, followed closely by Dutch on the Count and Sean on Ennis. Just seeing Sean sends a wave of relief through him.

“Leo.” Dutch says, a frown on his face.

“Dutch. I’m sorry for running off… I’m here to explain myself and… to tell everything. You pick where to go, I just don’t want to be near camp.”

Dutch narrows his eyes, “You ain’t settin’ us up, are you, son?”

Leo shakes his head, using all of his strength to keep his head up and facing Dutch, “I swear on my life.”

“Alright, follow me. Arthur, Sean, stay behind him.”

He lets Dutch lead, following him closely and trying to ignore the pit in his stomach. His hands sweat and he bites his cheeks, forcing himself to keep his head. Dutch slows, stopping in front of some old shack. Leo dismounts, sliding down from Ea’s back. The shire bumps his nose against Leo’s temple, feeling the young man’s anxiety. Arthur moves to stand next to Dutch, Sean following behind, his gaze lingering on Leo. Dutch stays on top of the Count.

Leo takes a deep breath, “I… have a lot to explain. It’s not going to sound real at first, but just bear with me. I… asked Arthur and Sean to come because they witnessed it first hand a few days ago at the camp we went to.

“I haven’t been fully honest. I haven’t lied to you, but I haven’t told the full truth. I… I know how I got up to the mountains back in May. Well, not exactly _how_ but I have an explanation. I… I have these abilities. Since I was born, I’ve been… different. It runs in my family. I just call myself a witch. That’s why I was in the mountains - something happened and sent me a hundred and twenty years in the past.

“I was born on the twenty first of November, 1999. The last date I remember before coming to in the snow was sometime in May, 2019. I thought I was going to die, but then I heard you guys and took a risk, hoping to be saved.

“Those men who were killed a little over a week ago in Valentine? Those were the men who tried to rob me and I… I panicked and… I killed them. They were going to shoot me and I didn’t have anything to protect myself but my magic…”

Leo takes a deep breath, unable to meet the other men’s gazes. He raises his hand, palm the group. Closing his eyes, he forms a small barrier between him and them. Lowering his hand, he lets it dissolve, opening his eyes. He feels tears prick at his eyes.

“I… I panicked again at the camp. I saw the sniper and just, without thinking I put up a barrier. I… I couldn’t lose someone again, I needed to protect you both.”

Tears drip down his cheeks and he rubs at them quickly and harshly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner, but I know my story is unbelievable. I’ve lost so many people, I couldn’t lose you all too, so I ran. I was so scared, I’m still scared.”

Silence falls between them, aside from the sniffles from Leo. Ea nudges his shoulder, nuzzling the small man to comfort him. Leo brings a shaky hand up to rub Ea’s nose, hoping the velvety feeling will help calm him down, help ease the fear. 

Finally, Dutch breaks the silence, “Let’s head home.”

Leo’s stomach drops, “W-What?”

Dutch turns the Count back towards camp, “Get back on your horse, boy. We’re goin’ home.”

“Me? You’re still letting me stay with you?”

“What else are we gonna do? You’ve got nothin’ besides us. I can see where yer comin’ from too. We’ve all lost somethin’, all been scared ‘n hid away to figure things out. C’mon then. Arthur, you get to Strawberry.” Dutch turns and heads back to camp.

Leo feels his breath hitch and he covers his mouth, a few stray tears falling down his cheeks and over his hands. Sean sends a bright smile to him as he mounts Ennis. He stops in front of Leo, grinning from cheek to cheek.

“It’s good to have ya back, Leo.”

The smaller nods, smiling widely. He feels giddy, his anxieties leaving his body completely as he watches Sean ride after Dutch. 

Then his mind flashes to Sean falling to the red dirt road, covered in blood. 

His smile fades face and he whips around to Arthur, who's just now hauling himself on his horse.

“Wait, Arthur, I need to speak with you.”

Arthur pauses, “Sure, whatcha need?”

“It’s about Micah. You need to convince Dutch to let him go. He’s going to kill the gang, he’s going to kill Hosea and Sean and you,” Leo explains frantically, “It’s part of my abilities, I can see bits of the future in my dreams. I saw it, Arthur. Please believe me!”

Arthur stays quiet for a moment, “I don’t know, Leo. Dutch told me to go save him. He’s gone and got himself arrested for murder and is set to be hanged tomorrow morning.”

“And when you get there, he’s in jail. You’ll have to break him out, then he goes and shoots half the town for… for something insignificant. I don’t know what.”

Arthur sighs, rubbing his face, “That does sound like somethin’ he’d do.”

Leo steps closer, near begging, “Please, just let him hang.”

“We’ll see.”

And with that, Arthur rides off. Leo watches, pain in his chest. In that moment, he decides.

If Arthur comes back with Micah, he’ll kill him himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam, it's finally becoming a fix it fic  
> micah stans don't interact
> 
> anyway! if you liked it leave a comment please! they absolutely make my day and help encourage me to write more


	12. Tell Me Everything, Just the Two of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Leo's return, Sean tries to get him to drink with everyone.

Coming back to camp felt… weird. People coming up to him expressing their worry feels foreign to Leo. 

He hitches Ea, getting started on removing his tack when Mary-Beth comes up to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, babbling about how worried she was and how relieved she is to see him safe. He hugs her back, albeit a little awkwardly. The awkwardness eases away in a moment when he realises just how touch starved he’s been. In the next moment, he’s melting into the touch and hugging her back as if she was a childhood friend. 

When Mary-Beth pulls away, it takes all of Leo’s willpower to not follow her arms. Instead he smiles at her, apologises for worrying her and continues to pull his saddle off Ea’s back. 

His tent is the exact same as he left it, with his small bag of belongings tucked next to the cot. He drops the saddle and reins and flops on his cot, staring up at the battered tent. His mind races. It’s already sunset, Arthur should get to Strawberry sometime around midnight and Micah should be set to hang at sunrise. That’s roughly twelve hours from now. Would Arthur heed his warnings? Did Arthur even believe him? What-

“Hey, Leo.”

Sean’s voice jerks him from his thoughts, jolting upright. The Irishman had pushed the flap to Leo’s tent aside and stand at the entrance to the tent. Leo looks up at him and feels a weight off his shoulders. Just seeing the other man alive and not covered in blood and laying dead on a red, dirt street eases his mind.

He takes a breath, a soft smile pulling at his lip, “What’s up, Sean?”

“Come have a drink,” Sean steps forward and grabs at Leo’s hands, hualing the smaller man off his cot, “We gotta celebrate yer return home.”

Leo stumbles with the motion, completely losing his balance. Sean had to of misjudged how much effort it’d get to pull Leo off the cot because in the next moment, he’s smashing into Sean’s chest and toppling both of them to the ground. Sean’s hat flies off, rolling out of the tent. Groaning, Leo pushes himself up. He opens his eyes only to come face to face with Sean, his hair falling over his shoulder and creating a curtain between the two. He blinks, his cheeks bursting into a bright red.

Sean gets that cocky grin on his face, “Ya ever gonna stop fallin’ for me?”

The smaller scrambles off of Sean’s chest, apologies falling out of his mouth. Sean sits up, his hands holding him up. His mob of red hair is a mess and he pushes some out of his face. Leo still has a leg over Sean’s when the tent’s flap gets yanked back. The poor, young man feels his face pale when he looks up at Hosea.

Hosea stands there for a second, before raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and muttering something under his breath about ‘youngins’ and turns away. Sean lets out a hearty laugh, one hand finding Leo’s hip. As the smaller looks up and sees that huge smile on Sean’s freckled face, the dim light of twilight warming his features, the image of him covered in his own blood with a gun shot ripped through his forehead melts away from Leo’s mind, replaced with the scene in front of him.

“Tell me about your home.”

Leo gazes up at Sean, who slows his laughter, and looks at him with a touch of confusion on his face, “What’dya mean?”

“Tell me about your dad, Ireland, dumb childhood stories. I don’t drink and I’d much rather just listen to you tell me everything you can.”

Sean seems taken aback, “Yer serious? Ya wanna hear ‘bout me da?”

Leo sits back, leaning against the edge of his cot, his leg bumping against Sean’s, “Of course, I told you before I wanted to. He sounds like he was special to you.”

The Irishman blinks, before letting a smile spread across his face, “Aye, me da was really somethin’ else. It was just me ‘n him, I never knew me ma ‘n me da didn’t talk much ‘bout her. I don’t even know what she looked like. I know I definitely took after me da, though. But it don’t bother me none, not knowin’ her.”

“How old were you when you came over here?”

Sean pauses, a crinkle going across his face, “Ya know? I actually don’t know. I was probably ‘bout twelve, maybe fourteen.”

Leo laughs a little, “Do you not know your own age?”

“Nah, I lied ‘bout it too many times to get work. I know I’m in me twenties.”

He says it so nonchalantly and even crosses his arms behind his head, leaning back into a box Leo uses to hold his tent up. He looks so casual at admitting that he doesn’t know how old he is, causing Leo to laugh softly.

“That’s so wild, holy shit,” Leo covers his mouth, “But then you remember Ireland? If you were in your early teens when you left? Huh, that would actually be about the same age I came to the States.”

Sean perks up, “Yer not American either?”

The smaller laughs loudly, “You hear me speak with an Aussie accent and you still think I’m American?”

Sean throws his hands up in defense, “Ya said ya was a redskin, I just thought that’s how ya northerners talk.”

“No, I _am_ half native, but I grew up in Australia. My mum and her ex-husband, my biological father, moved there when I was two then moved back to the States when I was twelve.”

“Which one’s an Indian, then?”

“My mum,” Leo smiles gently, “Richard was the white one, he was a fucking bastard too. But my mum? I love her so much, she means the world to me and I honestly wouldn’t have survived the past few years without her.”

“Wait, ain’t that that same place Strauss is from?”

Leo pauses, his mouth open, before he erupts into laughter, “No, oh my god, he’s _Austrian_ from _Austria_ , in Europe. I’m _Australian_ from _Australia_ , out in the Indian and Atlantic Oceans.”

Sean laughs with Leo, “But Williamson said he’s from Australia!”

“Yeah, well, he’s so wrong.”

The laughter calms down, both leaning back with smiles across their faces. Leo drops a hand from his lap and rests it on Sean’s leg, craving physical touch. Sean copies the motion, resting one of his hands on Leo’s leg as well. 

“You know?” Leo starts, “I’ve been to Ireland once. Richard loved to travel and had a bunch of money so we went there. My mum, her sister, me and Richard. I think that was the last time I saw my aunt. I don’t remember her much. I was young, but from what I remember, it was absolutely beautiful.”

“So ya _are_ one of those rich, high society boys!” Sean teases.

Leo huffs, his smile not leaving his face, “I _wasn’t_! When Richard left, he took all his money and went and bought a six hundred thousand dollar house while my mum and I had to decide whether to eat for the week or pay bills. So, yeah, when they say ‘Dick’ is short for ‘Richard’, they were _not_ kidding.”

The smaller thinks Sean chokes, he laughs so hard at the last comment, “Yer fuckin’ hilarious, ya know that, Leo? I fuckin’ love ya.”

Leo’s heart flutters, before he remembers that Sean says that same thing to just about everyone at camp. He tries to laugh it off, but something weighs heavy in his stomach. Sean doesn’t seem to notice and launches into a story about his dad and the smaller leans back and listens, knowing he’s falling deeper and deeper in love with the man across from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie this one was fun to write, i dont have any stories on hand about sean and his dad but i do have some headcanons that he doesnt know his mother and he doesnt know his age bc he had to lie to get work since if he said he was 12 he wouldnt get paid as much if he was 15 since child labour is still a thing in the 1880s and 1890s


	13. Maybe He Can Be Saved

Morning comes too soon. Leo groans when the light hits his face, burrowing further into his pillow, not wanting to leave the warmth surrounding him. He finally had a dreamless sleep and he just wants to stay wrapped up. Something stirs at his movement, and he hears another groan come from just above him. 

He feels his face pale.

Leo slowly moves so he can look up, right into Sean’s sleeping face. He wants to leap away, but something forces him to freeze. The man beside him looks so peaceful, his hair falling onto the pillow in a golden halo, his freckled face calm and soft, his lips parted just slightly. Leo has to resist the urge to trace his cheekbones and jawline. He wants to run his fingers through Sean’s hair, spend hours braiding it and twisting it.

He feels a solid weight across his waist as he shifts and he finds Sean’s arm slung over him, keeping him close to the other man’s chest. Leo just about melts at that and he feels himself slink back into the same position he was in when he woke up. He closes his eyes and lets his mind day dream.

He pretends he’s back at his apartment in downtown Philadelphia, Sean is still curled against him, holding him. His cat lays across the both of them, purring like a freight train. The cool of the AC made them pull over the large, warm comforter and the multitudes of quilts Leo has pulled away. In the other room, he can hear one of his roommates get ready for school, making her tea.

And in an instant, he’s pulled from that fantasy as shouting erupts from outside his tent. Sean sits up suddenly, panicked by the yelling, pulling Leo to the side and across his lap in the motion. Leo scrambles to sit up, succeeding only in bashing his head into Sean’s chin. The other man yelps, and Leo whines, then his eyes widen at the realisation of what happened. In a second, he’s fluttering over Sean, gently holding his face in his hands.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Yer fuckin’ head’s hard, ya know that?”

Leo softly rests his hand over Sean’s chin and closes his eyes. He takes a breath and allows energy to flow through him and warm his hand. He opens his eyes and pulls his hand away, watching the faint green glow dissipate. Sean blinks at him, his mouth agape.

“What…”

Leo smiles a little, “Magic, remember. Feel better?”

Sean nods, in awe. He opens his mouth to say more, but more yelling comes from outside the tent, closer this time. Leo flinches at the sound, turning towards the flap of the tent.

“That… sounded like Dutch… He sounds really mad,” Leo says quietly, forcing his hand to let go of Sean’s shirt.

The other man doesn’t reply, but slips out of bed, sitting at the edge of the cot and pulling his boots on. Leo slides beside him, pulling his boots on as well. Sean stands and holds his hands out to pull Leo up. The two of them poke their heads out of the tent.

Dutch stands in front of Arthur, throwing his hands about in the air and getting up in Arthur’s face. The other man seems angry as well, though not yelling as much as Dutch, he still radiate anger. 

Leo feels himself shrink, his hand finding Sean’s shirt to latch onto. Seeing two, angry men makes something inside of him scared. He can’t even focus on what’s being tossed around between the two of them.

“Micah was hanged.”

Both of the men turn to find Hosea standing across from them, holding a cup of coffee in his hands.

“From what Lenny was sayin’, he deserves it. Never liked that one. Dutch ain’t too happy, though,” Hosea explains.

At that sentence, Leo feels a huge weight leave his shoulders. Maybe he really can save everyone now! He has to.

“Good riddance to that oily turd,” Sean spits, stepping out of the tent, “Why’s it got Dutch all in a fit, then?”

Hosea shrugs, “I don’t know, son, I don’t know. Keep yer heads low for now.”

The older man ushers them both in the opposite direction. Leo spots Javier, Bill and Lenny huddled together. The small man tugs on Sean, pulling him over to the other men. Lenny looks up when they approach and Leo forces a smile.

“So, what’s going on?” Leo asks.

“They got Micah back in Strawberry,” Lenny says, “They got him for murder and set him to swing. Nearly lynched me on my way outta there. Micah hanged just earlier today ‘n Arthur said he didn’t make it in time.”

Leo’s heart lurches and he places a hand on Lenny’s arm, “I’m so sorry, are you okay? That couldn’t have been easy to deal with.”

Lenny looks surprised for a moment, “What? Micah dyin’?”

“No, almost being murdered yourself,” Leo frowns, “Who the fuck cares about Micah, I’m worried about _you_.”

Lenny shuffles, “Oh… Yeah, it… I’m okay now.”

Javier speaks up, jabbing Bill in the side, “So, when’s that party gonna happen?”

Leo laughs a little and lets the conversation go, drifting off to his own thoughts, remembering the touch of Sean that morning, the weight of his arm, his peaceful face. He feels a warmth in his chest when he remembers. 

_“So, why were you up this late?”_

_“Me da was killed in his sleep. The British chased him over here and shot him… in his bed… Don’t sleep easy now.”_

Sean slept peacefully… beside him. In the same way _he_ doesn’t have nightmares when he’s asleep next to Sean.

Leo can’t help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao rest in piss bastard  
> anyway bye micah u wont be missed


	14. Missing Shots

Days pass. The whole gang seems to move on rather quickly from Micah’s passing, in fact, not one person mourned and like Javier and Bill joked about, some even celebrated. Although no directly, Leo sure did. With him out of the picture, maybe all the others can be saved too. Baylock returned to camp on his own a few days after Micah’s death, much to everyone’s surprise. He just made his way in and started grazing with the other horses. No one has went and sold him.

Morning light shines through the camp. Leo stretches his arms up as he exits his tent, rubbing his eyes. He desperately wishes he could just sleep with Sean every night. The only two dreamless (or more, nightmare-less) nights he’s had since he first arrived have been the two he’s fallen asleep with the Irishman.

This nightmare, this _prophecy_ , had Kieran die. The poor, gentle man had been decapitated and, from the looks of it, likely tortured then his corpse sent on Branwen into (what Leo assumes) camp. 

Leo sighs, shaking his head to try to rid himself of the image. He makes his way to find Miss Grimshaw to get his chores for the day, wanting nothing more than to keep his mind off of his nightmares. Just before he’s about to reach where Miss Grimshaw usually is at this time of morning, he spots Sean trying (and failing) to sneak out of camp. Tilting his head, he follows Sean to the horses, watching him saddle Ennis.

“Where are you off to?” Leo asks, popping up on the other side of Ennis.

Sean jumps, stumbling back a little, “Jesus Christ, Leo! Are ya tryin’ ta kill me?”

Leo laughs a little, a soft sound, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you making a real poor attempt to sneak out of camp. I was just curious, that’s all.”

“John told me of a job he ‘n Arthur are doin’. I want in so I’m headin’ to the meetin’ point,” SEan states simply, starting back on saddling Ennis.

“Huh, is that so? Let me come with you, then,” Leo says, “Not on the job or whatever, but to the meeting point at least.”

“Wha? Leo?”

The young man already started to head to his tent to fetch Ea’s saddle and gear. He keeps his head low as he picks it up and carries it to Ea, who had mosied over to Ennis and Sean. Leo makes quick work of saddling Ea, the motions somewhat familiar to him now. Hauling himself onto Ea’s back, he smiles at Sean.

“Lead the way.”

Sean grins and nudges Ennis into a trot, heading down the quiet path out of camp. Leo and Ea follow.

“So what are they doing, anyway?”

“Somethin’ ‘bout a train full’a rich bastards. Don’t know too much else,” Sean says simply.

Leo hums in response. The rest of the ride continues in silence, the smaller just taking the time to be in Sean’s presence. Being around the other man calms him, despite Sean being so excitable and rowdy. And after another awful night, he needs any comfort he can get. 

A small, dilapidated shack comes into view through the trees and Sean slow Ennis to a walk before slinging his leg over the horse’s back and hopping down. Leo slides off Ea, patting the shire’s nose as he follows Sean.

“So now we wait,” Sean says, plopping down by some nearby rocks, “Arthur should be comin’ sometime ‘round noon.At least, that’s what Marston said.”

Leo sits next him, tucking his legs to his chest, “He knows you’re going to be up here, right?”

“Ah, well, y’know how it is,” Sean says, shrugging. 

Leo resists the urge to drops his face into his hands. He watches as Sean stands and starts to walks around the shack, picking up random litter in his arms. The smaller furrows his brows, trying to figure out what the other would need with all the broken bottles and rusted cans. As Sean lines them along a fallen wall, Leo gets up, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Now, watch this,” Sean says, stepping back several paces, and motions for Leo to move away as well. 

The smaller heads to stand next to and behind Sean, “Okay?”

The sound of a gunshot makes Leo jump, and he turns his head from the wall to Sean. The taller has his revolver out.

“Shit.”

“What… just happened?” Leo asks, trying to still his racing heart.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll get it this time,” Sean says, shoving his revolver back into its holster on his hip.

Leo takes a breath, and takes Sean’s word, turning his attention to the other man. He watches as he quickly pulls the gun from its holster and jumps again as it goes off. This time it pings off the side of one of the cans. The can wobbles, but doesn’t shatter or fall, the bullet simply grazing it.

Sean cusses again, holstering his gun again.

“Well, you’re doing better than I would,” Leo tries to comfort, “I’ve never even held a gun before.”

The Irishman pauses, turning towards the smaller, “Ya gotta be jokin’, right?”

Leo shakes his head, “Nope, guns are kind of… a sensitive topic in my time. I never really wanted to shoot things.”

Sean laughs a little, “No shit? Well, that’ll getcha killed now. C’mere, I’ll teach ya how ta shoot>”

“No, no, I-I’m okay,” Leo says, holding his hands up, “Really, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense,” Sean says, coming up to Leo and grabbing his hands, tugging him towards where he was just a moment before, “Here ya go.”

Sean drops his revolver in Leo’s hands, the smaller fumbling with it a little.

“It’s heavier than I expected,” Leo remarks.

“Aye, now, hold that up,” Sean says, stepping closely behind Leo.

The smaller does as Sean says, taking a moment to get a decent grip. He jumps when Sean wraps his arms around him, positioning Leo’s arms and nudging his feet apart. Leo feels his face flush at the closeness, savouring in the feeling of Sean pressed up against his back. 

“Now, jus’ aim ‘n pull the trigger, that easy!”

Leo frowns, uncertainty falling across his face, “Okay, I guess.”

He takes a breath and tries to aim at one of the bottles, slowly pulling the trigger. He jumps at the noise, Sean’s arms tightening around him at the motion. The bullet goes way off, a good foot below the bottle he was aiming for. Either way, Sean whoops, pulling his arms away from Leo.

“See? Ain’t that hard!”

“I don’t know,” Leo says, turning around and passing the gun back to Sean, “I’m just really not comfortable shooting. I’d rather stick to things I’m actually good at.”

Sean shrugs and returns the revolver to his holster. Leo steps back, letting Sean go back to trying to shoot at the bottles. He misses again, cussing once more.

“Well, at least it ain’t your job.”

Leo startles at Arthur’s voice, not even noticing he had ridden up.

“Ah, shut up, Arthur,” Sean replies, trying to shoot another bottle, this time actually hitting it.

“Yeah, your job’s startin’ the fights,” Arthur says, circling around Sean, “It ain’t winnin’ ‘em.”

“I can scrap, Arthur,” Sean says, shooting again, “I’m just no good at home work.”

“I can see.”

“Besides,” Sean says, holstering his revolver and turning to Arthur, “What do you care Englishman? You’ve got no time for me. I tried to find you work but then you’re off cuttin’ job with other folk and your boy Sean doesn’t get a look in.”

Arthur shrugs, “Guess I don’t wanna get shot, that’s all.”

“Ah, you’re a real fuckin’ funny shit, Arthur Morgan,” Sean says, reloading, “Real fuckin’ funny.”

“Calm down.”

 

“You better sleep with your eyes open,” Sean says, his threat empty.

“Yeah, well you’re gonna sleep with your chest open if ya ain’t careful, boy,” Arthur says, his voice dropping an octave.

Sean starts to laugh, “I love ya, Arthur Morgan, I love ya.”

He leans forward, sticking his neck out slightly, “C’mon, take a shot - ” He points at his neck - “C’mon, take yer best shot, please.”

Arthur slings his gun out, shooting a bottle and shattering it in one quick movement. Leo jumps at the sudden gunshot.

“Grow up.”

Sean follows Arthur around the shack, towards an oil carriage that Leo hadn’t even noticed before, “Let me come on the raid with yous.”

“Raid?” Arthur asks, looking over his shoulder.

“Don’t be playin’ coy with me, son. It’s unbecomin’,” Sean says, throwing his arms out, “That bloody train you and him has set up. What you’re doin’ out here, you’re goin’ ta need guns, you’re goin’ ta need men.”

“Oh, that,” Arthur says, starting to inspect the wagon, “So Marston told you. It ain’t a big show. I need calmness. If I take you, I might as well bring Micah’s ghost along.”

“Compare me to that oily, dead turd again,” Sean snaps, “And you’re a dead man.”

Arthur huffs a short laugh, “Fair enough.”

He turns towards Leo, “And what ‘bout you? Yer not comin’ too.”

Leo shakes his head, “I was just keeping Sean company.”

“Anyway, Arthur, what’s your problem with me? In fact, don’t tell me, I already know. You’re threatened by me.”

Leo raises his eyebrows.

“Threatened by you?” Arthus deadpans.

“Yeah, my youthful vigor,” Sean says, It intimidates ya.”

“Does it.” Arthur responses half heartedly.

“It’s a story as old as the hills,” Sean says, following Arthur, “The changin’ of the guard, the fadin’ of the light. You’re toast, old man.”

“Okay.”

Leo bites his lip from laughing. 

Arthur turns to Sean, “And what’re you?”

Sean stretches his arms out, “I’m the future, in all its glory.”

“Yeah, well, good luck,” Arthur says, walking towards the front of the wagon, “Good luck and shut up. I wanna get some rest before night fall.”

Leo watches Arthur sit down, pulling his hat over his eyes and leaning against the wheel of the wagon. The smaller man steps carefully towards Sean, smiling up at him.

“I guess I should head back to camp. Thank you for trying to teach me how to shoot,” Leo says, forcing himself to keep from patting Sean’s cheek. 

Instead he gently squeezes Sean’s arm, letting his touch linger a little. He heads back towards Ea and waves to Sean after he’s hauled himself up onto the large horse. 

Heading back to camp, he rubs his face, trying to ignore the heating of his cheeks as he remembers how Sean felt pressed against his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this chapters bad but lol whatever


	15. For a Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp needs to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry for not posting regularly like i did, i've been Crashing the past few night
> 
> also, abuse warning, there's nothing graphic, but it's mentioned

Camp is chaotic from the moment Leo wakes up. He stumbles out of his tent, his black hair a complete rat’s nest and his loose sleeping shirt hanging off one shoulder. He looks around at the chaos, everyone running around and shoving stuff together, packing up hurriedly. He shuffles through camp, looking for anyone to ask what’s going on. A hand catches his arm, and he jerks at the feel, swinging his head around.

Sean pulls him behind his tent, away from the rush of the camp. Leo puts his hand over Sean’s, worry painting across the smaller’s face.

“What’s going on?” Leo asks, his voice cracking a little.

“We’re movin’. We need ta get goin’.”

Leo furrows his brows, “What do you mean? Why? What happened?”

“I’ll explain later, you need to start packin’,” Sean says, giving Leo’s arm a gentle squeeze before turning and heading back into the mess of the camp. 

The young man’s arm tingles from where Sean’s touch lingered. He watches Sean’s form until he gets lost in the chaos, rubbing softly at his arm. 

The feeling doesn’t go away.

 

Leo shoves another crate into the wagon, his arms aching. He wipes the sweat off his forehead, and ties his hair back from his face in some semblance of a messy bun. He really doesn’t care what it looks like, just desperate to get it away from his face and off his neck. He mentally cusses at himself, his dumb ass who thought it was a good idea to grow his hair out.

“Leo, yer on this one with Sean,” Hosea says, “It’s best if ya ride with yer horse since he’s gonna be pullin’. Charles came back ‘n will be guidin’ us.”

Nodding, Leo pulls his bag off from the back of the wagon and slips it over his head, “Okay, great. Thank you, Hosea.”

The older man waves his hand, turning to go instruct some others. Leo moves around the front of the wagon, rubbing Ea’s nose and letting the other horse sniff his other hand. He stretches up on the tip of his toes and gives Ea a small kiss on his head.

“Be good, boy,” Leo says softly.

Ea whinnies and tosses his head, bumping his nose to Leo’s forehead. The young man giggles, and pats Ea. He goes around to haul himself up on the wagon’s bench, taking the reins and resting them in his lap as he rubs at his eyes. He jumps when something’s put on his head, looking up.

“If yer gonna be drivin’, yer gonna need somethin’ to shade yerself,” Sean says, a lopsided grin on his face as he settles into the seat next to Leo.

Leo reaches up and touches the worn brim of the hat. It’s black and wide, easily shading his shoulders as well. It reminds him of a hat he had once, a big, floppy, black hat he adored dearly. He can’t help but smile.

“Thank you, I burn so easily. I really need to get a hat, I never thought of it.”

“Have that one, I sure don’t need it.”

“Are you sure? Thank you!”

“Alright!” Dutch calls from the front wagon, “We’re off! Everyone, stay with me!”

The caravan starts to move, Leo shakes the reins lightly and clicks his tongue, encouraging the horses to start. The wagon moves with a jerk.

“So,” Sean says, leaning back against the backrest, “Ya said ya burn easy. Ain’t Indians suppose to be fine?”

Leo hums, forcing back a smile and a reference absolutely no one would understand, “Well, one, I’m only half native, Richard was actually of Irish heritage so that’s why I’m so damn pale, and two, just by having darker skin doesn’t mean that someone’s less likely to burn, it just means it’s harder to detect skin damage. Solar radiation is a real issue for everyone, really.”

“Wha?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s… a space sciencey thing.”

Sean nudges the smaller man’s side, “I ain’t that dim!”

Leo laughs, “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s more… that it’s super complex for this time, and I would absolutely go off about space and that’s all I would talk about this entire ride.”

“So who’s this Richard? Your da? You call ‘im by his name?”

“Well,” Leo’s grip on the reins tighten, “Technically speaking, yeah, he’s my father. But he doesn’t deserve that.”

Sean speaks a little softer, “So… what’s your story, then?”

Leo laughs, short and bitter, “Oh boy, strap in, buddy. When I was sixteen, Richard got up one morning, handed my mum divorce papers and just… left. I never saw him again. After a while, my mum and I both realised that he had been incredibly abusive towards me my entire life and towards her the entire marriage so twenty-five years.”

The man shrugs, “I mean, that’s nothing compared to half the shit you guys have gone through, but… he made us dependant on him. He had a very good job and brought in a lot of money and he took it all - he lied about what money he had and my mum and I got the short stick. We struggled for the next few years until she managed to sell the house. We moved with that money.

“But it… ruined me for a while,” Leo rubs absentmindedly at his left wrist, the spot covered by embroidery floss, “It was only three years ago and he never let go of control. He had control over my money for school and wouldn’t give it up. He made my mum and I pay for my surgery out of pocket, so there went seven-thousand. I’m still working through the trauma of what he did to me, to my mum, to both of us. So yeah, basically, fuck Richard.”

Silence falls between them for a moment. Leo opens his mouth to apologise, scared he overheard or overstepped, but Sean jumps in.

“Surgery? Wait, what the fuck you mean ‘seven thousand’? Seven thousand dollars?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“What the fuck?”

Leo can’t help but laugh, “Remember, time traveller here. Inflation is a bitch. I could go on, but it’d only make me pissed.”

Sean looks absolutely bewildered, “So you had a surgery for seen thousand dollars?”

“Yep, though I’m not quite sure how to calculate it exactly but uh,” Leo pauses, “That’s like the equivalent of maybe two hundred dollars now? Seven thousand now would be like two hundred _thousand_. The dollar pretty much means nothing anymore.”

“How…” Sean’s mouth gapes open.

The smaller man shrugs, “Yeah, it’s fucking wild.”

“But, surgery? What happened to ya?”

“Nothing too bad, but I’ve just got these two scars on my chest. They’re only this big -” Leo draws a line over his shirt, from each end of where his pec would be - “So not too bad.”

Sean gawks, “They’re only this big, that’s like half yer fuckin’ chest!”

Leo laughs a little and shrugs, “It was worth it. I actually feel comfortable in my body for the first time in years.”

They both fall quiet, but in the comfortable sense. Leo watches the road in front of them, taking in the sights and the changes in scenery as he follows the rest of the caravan. Beside him Sean leans back and starts to whistle. Leo glances over, catching a glimpse of Sean from under the brim of his black hat. His heart skips a beat the the sight of th other man, his freckled cheeks and ginger stubble, his messy hair and his green eyes. For a moment, Leo doesn’t think about getting home to his own time.

And for a moment, he can see himself staying here, living out his days with the man next to him.

And for a moment, he almost tells him ‘I love you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh lore?
> 
> dnsjdjafbda anyway have some sappy kinda somber times between sean and leo
> 
> yes the reference was gonna be means girls 'omg you can't just ask someone why they're white'

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!


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